


Sky Full Of Stars

by smolandgrumpy



Series: Something Just Like This Saga [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dirty Talk, F/M, Feelings, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Oral Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Praise Kink, Pregnancy sex, Smut, Violence, mention of depression, struggles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:08:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 32,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24071926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolandgrumpy/pseuds/smolandgrumpy
Summary: .This is the sequel toSomething Just Like This.He’s Dean Winchester, ex mobster boss, still a little cocky, less ruthless and not at all short tempered anymore. Instead, he thinks he’s hilarious (she doesn’t agree, though). They both try to live a quiet life. And Dean hopes, very hard, that his former life won’t come knocking at their door..
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Reader, Dean Winchester/You
Series: Something Just Like This Saga [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1736623
Comments: 43
Kudos: 93





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, yes, it's me. As you can see, I can't be able to stop writing them so that's why I'm here with a sequel. What I can say about it is, that it probably won't be as long as Something Just Like This and I won't be posting as frequent, as I'm still writing on it. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy xx

They had stayed the weekend in the house and moved in a week later, but Dean didn’t sell his building, and didn't rent out his apartment either. Although he wanted to get out of his former life, the apartment worked as a stepping stone to where he is now. He couldn’t part from it, no matter how hard he might have wanted to (which is not very hard, he has to admit). 

Y/N said he’s too sentimental and yeah, maybe he is. After all, the great thing they have now, the love that built throughout their relationship, it all started in that very apartment, and he likes to keep it as a memento, finds some kind of weird solace in it, which she thinks it’s creepy, but she doesn’t protest, because he knows for a fact that she thinks the same. So, he guesses, that they’re both creeps in a way. It takes one to know one. It takes one to love one, either. 

He also reckons that they could use it as a city resident. Not that he has any business in the city anymore, wouldn’t even want to anyway, but he never knows, right? It certainly doesn’t hurt him in any way, shape or form to keep the building — and the apartment for that matter — so he leaves everything as it is. He didn’t change anything in the papers either, just to be extra sure for when his old life comes knocking. 

Dean has to make sure to not leave any trails, because even if he’s out, there are still people who are butthurt he screwed them over (even though they all deserved it) and who knows when they’ll realize it and would come after him. Better safe than sorry and Dean needs to always be a step ahead. That’s how he got here in the first place. 

He likes to have control over his life. Feels the need to control every aspect of it, and it scares him shitless that even though he made it this far, there are things that are out of his control. Like Y/N for example, or the baby. It frightens him as much as it reassures him. It’s weird, he knows, but he has no control over his own feelings either, not when he’s with her.

The new house is bought and registered under the name of the trust fund he set up a couple of days before he bought it. Nobody knows about it, not even Sam, although Sammy would give him hell if he knew because he’d be bummed Dean didn’t go to him in the first place but Dean couldn’t take that chance. There’s always a possibility that someone will come knocking and he’d rather Sam doesn’t know about anything at all. He’d rather, if worse come to worst, Sammy wouldn’t have to decide over his own life or Dean’s.

He had also made sure that the new house has proper security. It’s weird, Dean thinks. Even though he wants to leave his old life behind, it sticks like gum to the soles of his shoes. There’s no way that he’s going to shake it off completely, so the best thing he can do is to look forward and work with the means he has. It’s crazy what money can buy and Dean’s not shying away from using it because if he wouldn’t use it for that what’s really the point of having so much. They really don’t need a lot to get by. Dean has more money than he’ll ever be needing.

Now, with a baby on its way, Dean thinks about his future more thoroughly. Occasionally wondering what he will tell his kid once it’s old enough to ask questions. Questions on how they met (that one is easy: a bar, she was a barmaid, he was a regular customer), questions of what he does for a living (that one is a little harder to answer), why they both don’t work (Dean hopes that by that time his child could question that, he and Y/N would both be working again, not really what he did before, but just something to pass the time). They take it one day at a time though. He’s anxious enough as it is at the moment. 

One thing that Dean never thought that he would get, though, is a dog. Never in a million years. Well, to be fair, he also never thought that he’d be getting a cat and ended up with two at one point. They adopted a puppy. A Belgian Shepherd, because Dean had the protection of his family in mind, too. The dog is loyal right from the start and he’s actually Dean’s dog, like Bubbles is her cat. 

Dean’s the one who takes care of the dog, goes out for walks, trains him, goes to obedience school, picks up his poo, feeds him. But even if Dean is the one who’s doing all of this, the dog still likes Y/N more because he goes to her for cuddles. He doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong, seriously. Dean gets it though, she’s his favorite person too, doesn’t blame the animals for one bit, is only a little annoyed when they’re all lying on the sofa cuddling and there’s no room left for him.

Maybe though, maybe he should not let Y/N name the animals around this house anymore either. For some unknown reasons, she started to call him Truffles and the dog fucking listened to her. Dean tried to counter it with Hulk but all he got from the dog was a glare and if the dog could raise an eyebrow, he would have. It is not really fucking fair but he get what he gets, right?

She joked once that Truffles is somehow like Dean. All tough and angry looking on the outside but deep down, he’s just a cinnamon roll. Dean doesn’t agree. 

So now, they are living in a house with Bubbles and Truffles and there’s a baby on its way. If five years ago, someone would have told him that his future would look like this, he’d be laughing them straight in the face, maybe beat them up for talking bullshit, just because he could. Joke’s on him.

Y/N’s working in her art room since she woke up this morning. She’s finished with painting the walls and is now decorating and maybe she’s already painting something. He wouldn’t know, because he hasn’t seen her since they woke up together. Hasn’t seen her since he made her come on his cock and they took a shower together after. The carpenter showed up while he was still showering and he had to get out quick and left her behind. 

They are exchanging the flooring of their terrace and now Dean’s helping him because it’s faster that way. 

Dean walked around on the terrace three days ago but then he took a step on rotten wood, which saw his leg being eaten up by the flooring. Y/N had to come help him out but of course not without taking a picture first. She had to take a couple too because her hands were shaking from all the laughing. It’s her home screen now and he hates it. 

So, he had to call in a carpenter because if Dean has to do all of that on his own either, he’ll never be finished on time. And by on time, he means by the time the baby comes, which according to google MD should be next Spring but he’d rather have everything in place already before Winter arrives.

They don’t know the exact due date because they haven’t been in for an ultrasound yet, it would be too early to see anything now, she told him, but she has made an appointment in two weeks time, so they’re both pretty excited for that. Excited might not be the right word. Panicked, terrified, frightened might fit better.

He heard a lot about morning sicknesses and he thought that she’d have it too at first because she felt nauseous to the point that she has to throw up the vitamins she’s been taking since she knew about the pregnancy. Turns out, she should maybe not have taken them on an empty stomach. Lessons learned. 

  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  


They’re at her OB/GYN, which was a recommendation from Anna, and Dean walks around in the tiny space while she lies there and waits for the doctor to arrive. 

There’s a big poster hanging on a wall where they show the different stages of pregnancy and Dean’s looking at that. When he reaches the last stage, he starts to sweat even more, feels a little light headed and maybe he feels nauseous too, wouldn’t want to admit it though, so he swallows down his feelings.

He’s nervous, and was sweating bullets already on his way here. Y/N had to hold his hand the whole time while he drove. And it’s stupid, really. He’s a big guy, a big bad guy, and he really shouldn’t be nervous about an ultrasound, right? Right.

“Dean,” 

“Huh?” He blinks awake from his daydream. Or is it called daymares? Because he didn’t have one good thought when he zoned out.

“My god, I have been calling you twice already.”

“‘M sorry,” He mumbles and walks over to her, sits on the stool next to the examination bed. She takes his hand, squeezes it and he leans down, kisses her forehead, “Just really nervous.”

“ _I_ should be nervous. They will ram a dick shaped ultrasound stick into my pussy not yours.”

“They what?” Dean braces his elbows on the examination bed, his hand still holding hers. “I thought the ultrasound will be made _on_ your belly,” Because he remembers seeing pictures and videos of women with big belly’s getting gels applied on their stomach.

“Yeah, I thought so too.” Y/N says, “But they informed me after I gave them my pee example.”

“Aw, I’m sorry,” Dean chuckles, it’s hard not to, but then he leans over to peck her lips.

“I’d rather get dicked down by your cock than an ultrasound stick, to be honest.”

Dean snorts out a laugh because at the exact moment she said it, the doctor opens the door to the room and steps in.

The doctor explains everything to them and now Dean’s even more nervous as he sits with her, his hands are sweating and he feels little droplets of sweats on his forehead, is afraid to brush at them because the doctor would think that he’s a fucking wimp. 

Finally the time comes where the doctor sticks the stick up her vagina and she flinches, while Dean tries to ease out the crease between her eyebrows with the pad of his thumb. Dean should not get aroused by the thought of something dick shaped going into her, but he does, which is really absolutely stupid and immature of him.

They both have their eyes on the screen but all they see is black and occasionally there’s a white blotch. The doctor goes deeper and Y/N flinches again while Dean tries to think of something super unsexy.

“There you go,” The doctor smirks and Dean squints his eyes, tries to make out fucking _something_. 

And then it hits him like a freight train because the doctor turns up the speaker volume and Dean not only sees it, but also hears it. A nervous thudding sound. The same pace as that white little thing flickering on the screen.

“That’s your baby’s heartbeat.” The doctor says and Dean thinks he’s never heard a sentence more beautiful than this one, maybe except when Y/N’s begging for him to spank her harder, or to choke her or all the things she says in bed, really. But this sentence, uttered from a complete stranger right now, is a whole other level of beautiful. It fills him with pride, with joy, with something he classifies as hope.

Y/N’s tears pool around at the corner of her eyes and it runs down the side of her face, over her cheeks. Dean brushes it away with his thumb, and she looks at him then. There’s a smile on her face but also he can see that she’s scared because it makes everything more real now with knowing that there’s another heart beating below her own. 

He’s teary too, can’t hide it anymore but doesn’t want to cry in a doctor's office though, so he swallows it down, kisses her instead, makes his face wet with her tears to cover his own. 


	2. Chapter 2

Dean tries to be quiet, he really did, but as old houses are, the stairs creak underneath his weight when he descends. He flinches, squints his eyes and moves faster, trying his best to make himself feather light, and absolutely fails.

He hops off the last step, walks into the kitchen on his bare feet, makes a cup of coffee. He knows that he needs to get back to work when he wants to finish the house on time but Y/N’s so damn distracting.

Especially when she takes naps during the day because she’s more tired than she’s ever been. In fact, she’s even more tired now than when she was in her first Trimester, which is weird but what does he know, he doesn’t have to deal with the hormones so all he does is shut the hell up and let her sleep.

They’re only at half time, something over five months.

When she feels really tired, she likes to take baths to relax and then taking naps after, and Dean hates that. Absolutely super hates it. Can’t stand how he can’t help but join her. Not always with the baths but certainly with the naps.

It first started two months into her pregnancy when they were still painting her art room. She would start to paint and after a couple of hours she’d ask him if it was okay for her to go lie down. When he checked on her later, she was grinning at him from inside of the bathtub with foam all over her face. 

That first time that he discovered her in the tub when she was supposed to go lie down, he couldn’t help but jump right into the tub with her, sat her on his hard cock and let her fuck herself on him. He took her out and laid her down after, ate her out before her body was even dry. 

Their sex life was not boring by all means, but since she’s pregnant she became insatiable. 

Dean would lie if he said that he minded it. 

And if he can’t fuck her with his cock (honestly, she can really wear him out), he fucks her with his fingers (sometimes he thinks that carpal tunnel syndrome is on his horizon), and if his fingers and hands get tired, he eats her out until his jaw cramps up. Like he said, he doesn’t mind. It’s not like they’re going about it like rabbits. They don’t do it every day either but once she starts, it’s hard for her to stop.

So since then, she’s been taking naps and he naps with her. It’s tempting to just stay in bed all day, kissing, cuddling, making love, sleep. And if she wasn’t pregnant and they wouldn’t expect a little baby in roughly five months time, he wouldn’t even care about the house, but Dean needs to get things going if he wants to finish it. 

Sometimes, Sam comes around to help. Jess’s pregnant too. Is even ahead of Y/N by a month. So whenever Sam’s over, Dean would drink a beer with his brother and they exchange their thoughts and worries. Dean’s gotten much better at talking nowadays. 

Bobby showed up once too, and Gabe whenever he’s free and then Gabe would help Dean out. He gets so much done when Gabe’s here. It’s the ease of having worked together for so many years that makes a difference to Gabe and Sam. Also Gabe is no fucking pain in Dean’s ass like Sammy is. 

But most of the time, they’re on their own in their little house with a view to a sky full of stars. It’s never dull around here either. She’d find ways to get on his nerves and he might not even do it on purpose but he apparently can annoy the fuck out of her as well. Dean apparently talks too loud. Or he chews too loud. Or brushes his teeth too loud. Every little thing can be too loud. The hormones are fucking with her senses.

He drinks his coffee, it’s caffeinated. He once tried to sneak in decaf coffee but she just sat there and stared at the mug and started to cry. So he gave up on it, because she limits her intake. She already had one this morning so Dean gulps down his, burning his tongue off, but it’s better for her not to see him drink it. It’s also better for him. 

While he’s standing in the kitchen, he decides to make lunch. Cooks up some pasta with homemade sauce and he’ll chop up some veggies to throw it in with.

Dean’s chopping away at a bell pepper when he feels arms coming around his middle, her face pressing into his spine, right in between his shoulder blades. 

“Mmh,” Y/N mumbles into his back, he feels her voice vibrating along his spine. Her little bump’s pressed into his lower back. “Smells good.”

Dean grins, but doesn’t stop chopping, “Me or the food?”

“Food.” She says and he can feel her chuckle on his back.

“Not me?” 

Her hands brush along his stomach, feathery strokes travel down to the waistband of his sweats, and then she strokes along his clothed cock. Dean holds in his breath. “Baby, I’m chopping something here.”

He abandons the knife though, because he’s not dumb and is not risking chopping his own hand off when she palms him through his pants.

“You always smell good, that’s not fair.” 

It’s Dean's turn to grin. He takes her hand from his cock — that grows hard just from her touching it and it's still the same, he can’t not get hard when he’s around her — and turns around, picks her up and sits her on the kitchen island on the other side of the stove.

She’s pouting, just like he thought she would be. 

He stands between her legs, his hands on her thigh and around the small of her back as he looks up to meet her eyes, cranes his neck to kiss her pout away. 

She wraps her hands around his neck and Dean likes how she plays with the short hair there. 

“What are you cooking?” Y/N asks and nuzzles her nose against his chin.

“I’m making pasta.”

Her hand comes around his face, fingers scratching at his scruff and then she says, “I was thinking—”

“—No,” It came out of Dean a little too fast, can’t help it because he knows what she’s going to say. 

He knows her better than he knows himself, he told her once and it’s still true. He knows that she’s pregnant and has cravings and she really almost never wants to eat the thing he cooks her. Even though she’s okay with it first but then she changes her mind, wants something else and after she takes a couple of bites of said _something else_ , she changes her mind again. It’s driving him fucking crazy is what it is.

The old Dean might have been mad, might tell her to fucking make up her mind but the new Dean is taking everything in with patience and an easiness he never knew he had. The only thing that really annoys the living hell out of him is that she mostly has cravings for things they don’t have in the house and he would have to go to the store to get it. But that’s on him too, because he doesn’t want her to drive in his car with no real seatbelt. She would then argue that they still have her car which is parked in the garage but they haven’t used it for a while and Dean doesn’t even know if it would still start up because unlike the time when she was gone for the year where Dean would take her car for a spin every other week to make sure it’s still running smoothly, he didn’t have the time nor desire to take her car for a spin since they moved, and however, that’s not really the point anyway. The point being, he doesn’t want her to drive at all, because he’s still scared of what could happen if she gets into another accident.

He bought a new car already, thinks of ditching his Baby every time he has to take his family out and about, opted for a big family van but it’s custom made and it takes another couple of weeks to be delivered.

“Hey, you don’t even know what I wanted to say.”

“Baby, I’m making pasta. I’m not going to the store again for your cravings. I’ve been twice this morning already and one time late last night.” Dean says, and it’s true. Last night she wanted her coconut ice cream and when he brought it back, she realized that her hormones made her not like the taste of coconut anymore and she ended up crying. That was a night ruined and Dean wished he didn’t even go out at all.

The next store is twenty minutes out and if Dean gives in every time she craves something, he will never get anything done around here. 

Y/N swats at his chest, but her lips curve into a playful smile, “‘M not telling that you should go to the store.” She leans forward then, pulls him closer by the back of his neck and he wraps his arms around her.

“Then tell me, I’m listening.”

“What would you say if I tell you to go out for a couple of hours in the evening.” She mumbles into the crook of his neck and that’s when Dean knows that she’s scared that he’ll be mad because she’s not able to look him in the eye.

He frowns a little, “Why do you want me to go out?” She hugs him tighter and that’s when he adds, “Am I crushing you? Do you need space?”

“No, everything’s okay. I just want to do something and I need you out of the house for a couple of hours. Cas will come pick you up.”

Dean frowns some more, “So, you actually already decided for me.”

She comes out of her hiding and is looking at him, a smile so bright it makes his heart leap. “Yes.”

He rolls his eyes, but only for the dramatic effect. “Okay, but don’t do anything stupid, alright?”

“Me? Something stupid?” She gasps with one hand on her chest, “Never!”

Dean begs to differ. There’s one time she drew a bath and forgot about it. They needed to exchange the flooring of the bathroom after. Or that time when she burned the omelettes because she was distracted by her book. Or that time when she came back from the store and placed the milk in the freezer and ice creams in the fridge. The list goes on and on, but Dean rather not list them off, because he couldn’t win the argument. 

She once said that she can’t even take care of herself and while that might not be true while she wasn’t pregnant, he thinks it’s true now. It if wasn’t for him, she would have flooded and burned the house to the ground by now.

“Liar,” He only grins at her, kisses her then before she can say anything else. 

  
  
  


_____________________________

  
  
  
  


Y/N’s sitting on the couch and strokes Bubbles while Truffles is lying on the floor when Dean comes down from taking a shower, she can hear him walking down the stairs, it creaks awfully loud under his weight. He told her that he wants to work on that too, so the baby wouldn’t wake up all the time when he’s going up and down the stairs.

Bubbles loves its new home, the cat especially loves the space, loves going out and roaming around, and has already made friends with other cats and of course Bubbles doesn’t mind Truffles at all, would sometimes let the dog lick her and the feeling is mutual.

She’s actually glad Dean agreed on getting a dog. She never knew that he would cave because he told her that he’s not really a dog person. Come to think of it, he’s also not really a cat person. He’s not really any kind of person except of her, he said that himself. Now he has to share her with a baby and he’s slowly working up to it. It’s not going to be easy but that little one will also be half his so she guesses that Dean will be able to work on his issue. That issue still being that he’s afraid someone could take her away from him. 

Dean is working on himself, she can see that. Sees it in how he’s much more relaxed and she likes that. Likes how he wakes up with a smile on his face everyday. Likes, how he smiles more in general, how he’s less grumpy. How he doesn’t have to work all night and come home with bloody shirts. 

Nowadays, the only stains on his shirts and pants are from renovating the house or pottery.

Yeah. Pottery.

They are sharing an art room now. He’s doing pottery in one corner of the art room. It’s one of Bobby’s friends, Rufus, who’s also Dean’s friend and a closet psychologist who suggested that Dean tries pottery to help calm him down when the storm inside of him takes over. 

Sometimes, Dean would come in when she’s painting, sits down wordlessly and starts to do pottery. She won’t say a word either. Will sit there and paint until she can see the crease between his eyebrows even out.

He’s so distracting when he does pottery, though. His fingers and arms work on the clay. Sexy is what it is. It gets her hot and bothered every time.

Dean walks into the living room, dressed in casual jeans and a plaid shirt, smelling good and the scent makes her light headed. 

Just when he bends down to kiss her, Cas rings at the gate. That’s right, they have a gate. Dean’s overprotective but she understands, considering who he was when she met him.

He pecks her nose, her forehead, places his hand on her belly and rubs at it. “I think that’s my date.”

“You have fun,” She breathes into the kiss and feels his lips widen into a grin.

“Fun? Without you?” 

She rolls her eyes, “You know what I mean.”

Dean leans lower, kisses her belly through the shirt. “Be good,”

She frowns a little, “The baby or me?”

“Both.” Dean boops her nose and gets up, walks to the door and is out.

  
  
  


*

  
  
  


After Dean has left, she takes a long shower, gets into fresh comfortable clothes and starts to prepare everything she needs. 

It’s going to be a surprise. Dean has always done so much for her. He always makes sure that she has everything she needs, and has devoted his life to keep her happy so that she would stay, so that he could keep her. Even though she told him that there’s really nothing that would drive her away from him anymore. Guess he still doesn’t believe it so he does the only thing he knows he can, twists and bends his life around to make room for her in it. To make room for their family.

She orders pizza, places mats on their terrace, sets up fairy lights. She actually wanted to use candles but Dean hid all of them because he doesn’t trust her to not burn the house down.

Two hours has passed and Dean should be home in a couple of minutes. She has an agreement with Cas to get him home as sober as possible. 

Y/N moves pillows and blankets from the couch out to the little camping site she created. The pizza arrived a couple of minutes ago either, so she takes it out with her. She’s hungry and takes a bite out of a slice, hoping Dean doesn’t mind that she started without him.

Like she thought, Dean walks in after she has finished her first slice, and he calls out for her. The house is dark, the only light source is out here and she hopes he gets it, follows the source out to where she is waiting for him.

“Babe?” He slips out onto the terrace, slides the screen door shut behind him.

His face is lit up by the moonlight and the little fairy lights. She sees him smile, it’s all white and wide. 

“Surprise,” She smiles back at him.

She waits for him to get out of his shoes and join her on the mat beside her. He places his hand on her shoulder, the tips of his thumb circles on the back of her neck as he pulls her in to kiss her temple. “Is that why you wanted me to go out?”

“Duh,” She grins and he kisses the grin away.

They dig into the pizza and she knows that she forgot something, so Dean has to get up and comes back out with napkins and two bottles of water.

After they ate, they lay down, his head on her shoulder, while he rubs at her tummy.

“You see the stars?” 

“Yeah,” She whispers.

“Thank you,”

“No, I have to thank _you_.” She says, tilts her head, kisses his temple, his scruff tickles her chin. “You’ve done so much for me so at least I can do something too, even if it’s just something small.”

“It’s something big, alright,” Dean cranes his neck, kisses her cheek, leaves his lips here, “You’re doing more for me than you know,” He’s about to say more but there’s something happening in her tummy, something that feels like gas bubbles that are locked in there. Like she’s had too much fizzy drink, only that she had none. She felt it a couple of times already but it’s the first time that he probably feels it too with his palm on her stomach.

Dean swallows.

“Is that?” He props himself up on his elbow, leans over her, and there’s one more bubbly feeling.

She smiles at him, nods her head and his smile spreads on his face, the crinkles around his eyes deepens. Y/N cradles his face with one hand, letting the pad of her thumb travel over the crinkles that she loves so much.

Dean kisses her then, still smiling and chuckling. 

“The baby’s probably excited to see the stars too.” She whispers into the kiss, wonders how long it’ll take for them to feel a real kick, for Dean to feel it.


	3. Chapter 3

The bump is getting bigger every day and it’s annoying really. It’s always in the way, it’s everywhere she goes. 

Yesterday Y/N was sobbing because she couldn’t tie her own shoes and when she looked down on herself, all she saw was the tip of her big toes. 

She can’t really cuddle with Dean anymore either. Like she said, the bump really is in the way but it’s also good isn’t it? It means the little baby is growing to be healthy and strong. And oh god, Dean so big and she’s not and the baby has to come out of her vagina, and oh no. It’s not possible. She’ll tear everything down there. Nope, she’s not going to do it. Not going to give birth. Not now, not ever. She said what she said.

They’re in bed when these thoughts hit her and Dean spoons her from behind, telling her a story about something she didn’t really focus on listening to in the first place. Sorry, but she just can’t. There’s a living creature coming out of her in two months time and it’s not going to happen. Not when she has a say in this.

Dean can feel her tensing because he stops babbling, rubs his palm over her bare stomach and kisses her shoulder. “You okay?”

She sighs before she searches for words to answer him. How can she say that she’s not o-fucking-kay without him worrying? Because she doesn’t want that. She doesn’t want for him to worry. It’s her own anxiety induced thoughts and only she can deal with it. He doesn’t need to worry about her, really.

“I’m terrified,” She says anyway, because it’s the truth and she promised to herself that she’s not going to lie to him. Not anymore.

“Baby,” Dean whispers, his hand still strokes her big bump, and he noses at the back of her ear. “I am too.”

“You don’t have to push the baby out of your pussy, though.”

Dean chuckles lightly, his breath makes the hair on the back of her neck stand up. “No, I don’t. That’s true. But I’d do it for you if I could.”

“Liar,” It’s her turn to laugh, “You almost fainted when my stomach hurt from food and you were running around like a headless chicken because you thought that I had contractions.”

“Oh, come on, that’s totally different.” He’s louder now.

“Or when you made me squirt and you thought you broke my water.”

Dean lifts himself up on his elbow and she has to tilt her head back to laugh at him. He frowns, “That was last night and it  _ was  _ scary alright?”

“Of course,” Her hand goes up to pat his cheek.

“And I meant what I said. No sex until the baby’s out.”

She turns on her back, looks at him and pouts.

“Oh, don’t do that.” Dean sighs, his fingers brush along her face, paints along her brows, the bridge of her nose. 

“Do what?” She asks innocently. Of course she knows what he means.

“Your fucking pout, I swear,” He kisses her then, soft and tender but she wants more, so much more.

Her arms wrap around his neck, pulling him closer and it isn’t long before he gives in. He always does. Dean could never resist her pout. It’s not going to be long until a small person will look at him with their big eyes and pout at him too and she is sure as soon as the child finds out Dean’s weak spot, it will use it against him like she does. 

It still builds up so quick between them and it gets her so hot when he slides his tongue into her mouth, fills it with the taste of him. 

Dean breaks the kiss and it gives her room to breathe. “Baby, Cas and Anna are coming around in a couple of hours. We need to get things ready,”

He kisses her again, though, can’t really stop either. 

“I know, we make it quick, please?”

His hand goes from her bump to her tits, kneads at them, his fingers twirls around her nipple. They’re even more sensitive now, and a little fuller, too.

She’s still naked from last night so he takes the opportunity, dips his head lower, sucks and licks at her throat, working his way down to her nipples and sucks them in, lets them out with a lewd pop right after. Her hand fists in his hair, scratches at his scalp.

He comes up again, looks at her with blown pupils, curses before he says, “Okay, but quick.”

Her smile widens, a smile of a winner, really. She turns around and lets him spoon her. There’s not a lot of positions anymore that she feels comfortable in. At least Dean has gotten over his thing about always wanting to see her face when they have sex. Maybe it’s only for the time being as they don’t have many positions to choose from. 

Dean pulls her closer, and she presses her ass against his hard cock, making him groan into her back at the friction she gives him.

Stroking his cock, Dean threads the mushroom head through her slick and she parts her thighs a little to give him better access. 

He’s still a tease though, rubs the head of his cock along her slit, not quite putting it in yet.

“Dean,” She chokes out his name.

“What do you want, baby?”

“You’re a tease,” She bites down on her bottom lip and flinches because he almost lost his cool there and slipped in a little. The tip of his dick is now inside but only the tip.

Dean groans a little himself, and grits his teeth, “I want you to tell me,” 

“Oh my god, I want your cock Dean, want it inside of me, plea—”

The word gets stuck in her throat when he pushes himself inside, making her moan out loud.

He moves, slow and steady, his arms come up to knead at her tits, fingers twisting her nipple, his mouth on her throat. “Still so fucking tight, baby,” 

She wants more, wants him to fuck her deep but she knows that he won’t go as deep as she wants him to because he’s too scared to hurt her, scared of hurting the baby.

His mouth is right by her ear as he whispers dirty, “Just fucked you last night, fingered you, made you fucking squirt but you’re still so goddamn tight.” 

Y/N loves it when he runs his potty mouth while they fuck, had always loved it. He always says things that make her blush.

Dean’s hand leaves her tits, strokes down her body, rubs along her bump, his hand touches her more gently around her middle. He goes further down, slips his hand between her thighs to rub at her clit, and she doesn’t know how he does it because it’s always better than when she does it herself. 

“You’re close,” He whispers and sucks at her pulse point on her throat, “I can feel you squeezing my cock,”

He’s right. Of course he’s right. She’s so fucking close because he’s brings her there, with his throbbing cock and magic fingers.

“Come, I’m right behind you.” He whispers, low and dirty and it sends shivers down her spine when he flickers at her clit one last time, pushing her off the edge, making her cramp down on his cock, making him spill inside of her. 

“So good,” He’s still half groaning next to her ear, “Always such a good girl for me,”

Her pussy flutters with the praise, as Dean still lazily fucks into her and sprays kisses along her shoulder and throat.

They lie there a while longer, his hand is up and massages at her bump again. The baby is awake, kicks at Dean’s hand and he has to laugh at that.

“You feeling better?” He asks, noses along her temple.

“Much,” She says, placing her hand on his.

“What do you think it’s going to be?” 

She thinks, long and hard. They still don’t know the sex of the baby, last time it didn’t want to show on the ultrasound and she doesn’t even know if she wants to know at all.

“Well, I hope it’s going to be a tiny human.”

Dean has to laugh at that, the sound loud and beautiful in her ear. 

“I hope it has your smile.” He says when he calms down.

“I hope it has your freckles, your eyes and your patience.”

“My humor,” Dean adds and she snorts at that.

He kisses her cheek, “Come on, we should shower and get moving.”

“I need your help,” She says and grunts as he peels himself from her back, slips his soft dick out of her with a squelching sound and she hates how she misses him already.

“With what?” He gets out of the bed, walks over to her side and helps her up, scoops her up and carries her to the bathroom. 

“I need to shave my legs and my pussy,”

Dean groans, he absolutely doesn’t like to help her shave her pussy and she knows that because he can barely keep himself from touching and fucking her while doing it. 

“You’re going to be testing my patience, baby.” He says, and gets into the shower, waits for her to join him.

  
  
  


*

  
  


Y/N helps Dean prepare for the BBQ and they finish with the preparation even before the Novaks arrive so she decides to lie down a litte, while Dean sets up the table on their terrace.

She lies with her head on the headrest of the couch, right by the door out to the terrace and Dean has to walk past her every time. She lifts her dress, bunches it up right underneath her boobs to watch the baby move. 

It’s so active now, it feels weird and it looks even weirder. She can see it tossing and turning around in her belly. 

When Dean comes in and picks something up in the kitchen, she calls out for him. “Dean, look!”

He stops dead in his tracks, looks at her belly. 

The baby is carving something along her skin, and it wriggles so hard that her belly looks unshaped and bulky. 

Dean stands there, watching, she sees him upside down when she looks up. “Have you ever seen Alien?” He asks out of the blue and walks to her, kneels down and kisses the bump. She has to swat at his arm for that stupid comment, though. 

Then, everything stops. The movement gets more smooth, it doesn’t trash around anymore.

“See, I calmed it down with a kiss, ha!” Dean smiles from ear to ear and she has to roll her eyes because now he’s gonna be incredibly cocky for the rest of the day. 

_____________________________

  
  
  


Cas and Anna arrive with baby Elijah and the two women plus Cas are sitting and talking to each other.

After Dean had placed the things on the BBQ, he joins them too and Anna asks him if he wants to hold Elijah.

Elijah is six months old, a strong robust baby but still, Dean is reserved. “I dunno, what if I drop him?”

Anna chuckles, “It’s not hard Dean, you can’t break him.”

Y/N nudges at his arm. “Yeah, hold him.”

“Okay, okay, come on, what do I have to do?” He asks but Anna just pushed Elijah into his arms. 

It’s weird. Weird holding a baby that’s not Sam. Dean’s sweating bullets but won’t admit it. He breathes relief when he has an excuse to go turn the steaks and veggies over on the grill.

Cas comes to stands at the grill with Dean. Both of them sipping on their beers. 

“How are you?” Dean asks his friend. 

“Tired,” Cas sighs, “But it’s good. Anna still does most of the work but I help as best as I can.”

Dean nods at that, “You’re doing great, Cas. Anna looks happy, Elijah is healthy, what more can you wish for, right?”

“Yeah,” Cas agrees, “Thanks to you it’s possible for us to spend so much time with Elijah, though. So, thanks. We owe you a lot, if not everything.”

“Ah, stop it, Cas. You earned it. It has nothing to do with me.”

Cas takes a sip from his beer, “How are you?”

Dean takes his time to answer that, he looks back at Y/N, sees her holding Elijah on her lap while Anna gives her tips. 

Dean smiles, “I’m good. We’re good, Cas.”

It’s the first time that he uses these words when he’s feeling exactly that, either. 

“Good,” Cas says and there’s a exhale of breath before Cas speaks again, “Then I guess it’s not the right time to tell you that Crowley tries to get a deal with the FBI.”

“He what?” Dean gets loud and his eyes immediately shoots to the two women, is fucking thankful that they didn’t hear his outburst. 

Cas talks in a low voice now, “Gabe’s still working freelance and he overheard someone saying that Crowley is working on getting out. Don’t worry, it won’t happen today or tomorrow, maybe not even this year or the next, but he’s doing everything to get out.”

“You think he’ll hand us out on a silver platter?”

“Nah,” Cas shakes his head. “He has more skeletons in the closet than we do. He would only hurt himself because I don’t even think they know the full extent of his business. They caught him for corruption and abuse of power, little involvement in the coup that wasn’t — thanks to Y/N — but they don’t know what else there is, they can’t and won’t find anything unless one of us talks.”

“Can you talk to Gabe again? Let him set up a security company. Employ the best of people, war veterans like he and I are. Get 24/7 protection on all of us, including Sam and Ash. But not the obvious kind, protection you can’t really see, you understand?”

Cas raises an eyebrow, “So, you want ninjas?”

“Of course I want ninjas Cas. What else would I want?” Dean snarls, but then Cas chuckles and Dean has to drop his facade.

“I’ll let Gabe know, I don’t think he can get ninjas, though.”

“Good people, is all I ask for, really. There might be some from our old unit who would be interested since it’s legal, he should contact them. And he should let me know how much he needs and I’ll wire it over.”

Cas nods, “You still have your firearms?”

“Yeah, and you?”

“Me too, Anna hates it, though.”

“I don’t think that you’re the one he’s after if he gets out, Cas. So don’t worry about that, alright? I don’t want you to.”

“I’m worried about you.” Cas says and then adds, “No, actually, I’m not even worried about you, I’m worried about Y/N.”

“Yeah, me too.” Dean agrees, he looks to Y/N, sees her frowning at him. She probably knows that something’s not right. That something’s up in the air but Dean won’t tell, refuses to tell her that Crowley is trying to get out and the first person on his list might be her. 

It’s never going to be her, not if Dean can prevent it.

So Dean does what he can do best, and that is pretending that everything’s okay as he piles a plate with grilled veggies and steak and walks over to the girls. They eat and talk. Dean laughs when Cas and Anna tell them stories about funny little things that happened since Elijah’s birth. He rubs his hand on Y/N’s thigh every now and then, squeezes her, and she leans against him, tilts her head to his so he can kiss her. It’s good. Really good. He also watches Y/N smile at Elijah, sees her love for a child that’s not even hers. He loves that, he thinks. He loves her, loves his unborn child, and he’s keeping her, keeping them, would easily and readily give up his own life to save theirs.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean’s on pin and needles. He’s trying to be as quiet as he can when he walks around. Y/N’s pissed and each one of his movements could trigger her wrath.

She’s well overdue. If she was a steak, she'd be more than well done, and would taste like soles of his shoes. 

It has been a week. A fucking full week. Seven friggin’ days. Her due date came and went and with that, her patience. Even more so, after Jess gave birth and they’ve been over to Sam and Jess’ house for a visit.

The baby clearly is in no rush but Y/N’s patience is on thin ice, and so is Dean because apparently, he put her in the situation in the first place.

After thirty-six weeks, she decided that she’s had enough and wishes her bump away. She was actually sure that the baby will come before its due date, was dead set that it’ll come to them something after thirty-eight weeks because she said that if she gets any bigger, the only thing she’ll be able to do is roll around and she won’t need him to drive her to the hospital because she’d be rolling there. Dean smirked at the vivid image in his head and that wasn’t really his best move because she was so mad, she made him sleep on the sofa. 

They’ve tried everything that should trigger the birth and help along, too. 

He cooked spicy food, which she upped up and made it so spicy that Dean ended up having contractions instead of her. 

He’s been to a twelve mile hike with her this morning and now he’s exhausted but she keeps on going, walks up and down the stairs so often that Dean’s sure the wood will have holes and he needs to fix it while she’ll still be in the hospital. 

Dean’s sitting in a recliner, and tries to be invisible, he doesn’t need to trigger her anger today. 

After a while she stops pacing around up and down the stairs and Dean thinks it has started. 

“Baby? Is it—”

“—No.” Her voice is still grumpy, but it has been grumpier so Dean takes it, “I’m taking a bath.”

She goes up, and stomps on the landing.

“Do you want me to jo—”

She slams the door.

“—in you.” Dean finishes his sentence in a mumble. 

He sighs, rubs his hand over his face, strokes at his scruff and lets himself sink into the seat. He closes his eyes, for a brief moment, he probably has to go check up on her, but now he needs a fucking minute to himself. 

Dean doesn’t know how long he closed his eyes for, it feels like minutes, but Y/N’s standing before him in nothing but a towel, dripping wet.

She pouts. And the effect of her pout should be wearing off after such a long time, doesn't it? Well, it doesn’t because he’s still so fucking weak whenever he sees that pout.

He doesn’t say anything though, doesn’t really know  _ what _ to say because he doesn’t know if she’s going to unleash her wrath or start to cry. 

So he waits.

Y/N walks closer on her bare feet, places her hands on his thighs. “‘M sorry,” 

His lips curve into a smile then, because he knows the storm is over for the time being. It has been like that for a couple of weeks now and Dean tried to understand her point of view. Tried to think how he would feel carrying around excess weight that’s so heavy it makes it hard for him to breathe. So in other words, he totally gets why she’s so done with all of it. And she can be angry at him all she wants, he said they’re going through this together and they will. Even though it’s just the beginning.

And even if she’s angry and has no other outlet than him, he takes it. Take everything she gives him because at the end of the day, she’ll almost always come around and tell him how sorry she is. 

“Come ‘ere,” He says, pats his lap.

She climbs in, places her knees next to his thighs and nudges her face into the crook of his neck, noses at his scruff. She’s dripping wet but he doesn’t really mind, hugs her, and kisses the top of her head. “Rough day, huh?”

“Uh-huh,”

“I know.”

He rubs along her thighs and she sits up a little straighter. She’s not too heavy, still fits into his lap perfectly and Dean wouldn’t want to have it any other way.

She leans down to kiss him and Dean has to crane his neck a little, meeting her half way because of the bump.

“You know,” She says, her hands play with the collar of his shirt. “I’ve been a dick to my fiancé.”

“Have you?” He frowns a little but hides the fact that he’s excited that she uses the word fiancé because it’s the first time he hears it out of her mouth. 

“Yeah, he’s been nothing but supportive but I’m having a hard time and I let it out on him.”

“That’s understandable.” His hands squeeze and knead her thighs.

“He doesn’t deserve to be threaded like that, though. I hope he still loves me.”

“Baby,” Dean whispers, pulls her down by the back of her neck to kiss her. “I can never unlove you. You should know that by now.”

“I love you,” She kisses him again, deep, more demanding and Dean tries, he really tries to be good but he can’t hide the fact that only a kiss of her turns him on so much. He’s growing hard awfully fast. 

And it doesn’t go unnoticed because she has a button somewhere either, is so goddamn responsive that it’s sometimes hard for him to catch up to her. She grinds down on his cock, moans a little into his mouth. 

“We haven’t tried one thing yet,” Y/N whispers against his lips.

“Baby, no.” 

The last time Dean fucked her was almost two weeks ago and he also said on that last time, that he won’t fuck her anymore until the baby’s here. She cried and thought that he said it because he doesn’t find her attractive anymore when it’s only reason was because he doesn’t want to hurt her. He tried to explain and it took almost a night for him to get her to believe him.

“Please? It could help.” She pouts again and Dean could club himself over the head because his willpower is hanging by a fucking thread.

It doesn’t really help that she unknots the towel around her body, lets it drop to the floor, making him fucking drool. Her nipples have darkened, are bigger, her tits fuller. She uses her body as a knife to cut through the thread his willpower’s hanging on. And that, Dean thinks, is not fucking fair.

How could she even think that he doesn’t find her attractive when the evidence is visible in his pants. Hard and throbbing, aching to be freed.

The bump makes her attractive too. There’s a life growing inside of her. A life growing out of something  _ he _ planted in there.

Y/N plays with the waistband of his sweats, her fingers dip into the elastic of his underwear and Dean’s hands come up to play with her nipple, to knead at her tits.

“Please?” She moans and honestly, how can Dean say no to that?

“Okay,” He gives in, and adds, “But you can stop any time, alright? If it hurts or it gets uncomfortable, stop, you understand?” 

She nods her head so fast Dean thinks she’ll get a whiplash. 

He leans back a little, “Go on, take it out,”

The smile of her face is so sweet and beautiful he has the feeling that he’s going to burst. 

Taking it out, he helps her a little by lifting his ass so she can bring the fabric past his balls. And then he realizes that he probably should take her to bed, should spread her out, should fucking lick her open, the whole nine, “Baby, we should go up,”

“No, I can’t wait,” She grinds harder, her hands now fisting his cock and Dean’s strangely okay with that because he doesn’t know if he would have the patience to wait until they’re up the stairs when all he wants is to be inside of her. It has been two fucking weeks after all.

She lays his cock down and spreads her pussy lips on it, rubs her clit along his shaft, smears her slick around his cock.

Still a fucking tease, always was, always will be.

Dean places his hands on her ass, it itches him to spank her but he doesn’t. Instead, he helps in guiding her, it’s really the only thing he can do because she’s in the driver’s seat, he’s only sitting shotgun and the driver gets to pick the music.

It might have just been five minutes at most, but Dean’s slowly growing impatient. “Baby, if you really want me to fuck you, you better hurry up, I’m dying here.”

Y/N chuckles, leans down to kiss him before she pushes herself up on her knees, places his cock at her entrance and proceeds to slowly impale herself on it. 

She does it so agonizing slow that Dean feels every crease, every bump inside her tight walls. 

“Fuck,” He breathes out, barely able to hold himself together as she works herself lower, making him go deeper.

He wants to tell her not to go too low, wants to tell her not to sit down fully, but his voice doesn’t leave his throat, gets logged in there because all he can do is groan out when she sits so low, his balls are touching her ass crack.

Her hands are braced on his chest and she throws her head back, moans with him. She doesn’t even move, just sits there as her cunt flutters and cramps down on him and it’s all it takes for him to make that jump over the edge. He shuts his eyes, bucks up into her while her pussy’s still convulsing around him. 

“Wow, you came,” She chuckles, “I barely did anything.”

“Shut up, you did too. Couldn’t help it, you felt so good,” He’s out of breath, “But I’m still fucking hard. So go on, knock yourself out.”

It’s no fucking lie. He rarely could go twice before. But with her, it’s often the case. He doesn’t know how she does it but he doesn’t complain. 

She starts to ride him, fucking herself on his dick. She’s so wet with all the cum running down his shaft, it feels so goddamn perfect, Dean’s not sure how long he can last this time.

He rubs at her clit, and she starts to fuck him harder. It isn’t long until she comes again and somewhere after her second orgasm, it felt awfully wet down there. His sweats and underwear are drenched.

“Baby,” Dean groans, tries to hold out his pending orgasm. But it’s nearly impossible because she comes again, her walls milking at his cock, takes every drop of him that he’s able to give her.

“Fuck,” 

Dean hears her swear but he’s still zoned out from his last orgasm, and when he opens his eyes, she looks at him in shock. 

“Shit,” It’s now that he realizes it. “Are we?” 

She nods with a grin.

“Now?”

Another nod.

“Fuck, I need new pants,” He lifts her up, places her feet on the ground and pulls his pants up to be able to run when he speeds upstairs.

Y/N follows him but waits at the foot of the stairs. 

Dean quickly changes his pants and underwear, didn’t even drop the soaked ones into the hamper because there’s just no time.

“Get my dress,” She calls up and Dean grabs the dress that’s hanging by the door for four fucking weeks already in case they need to up and leave and she needs something to get in easily.

He runs down the stairs and is already halfway down when she says, “Dean, the bag.”

“Oh, bag, yeah.” Dean turns around again.

“But you can give me the dress.” 

He throws it in her face, hears her chuckle as he runs up to get the bag they have packed — also for four weeks already.

Coming down the stairs she looks up and he knows that he forgot something again.

“Towel?”

“Right,” Dean realizes, “Go and wait in the car.”

  
  
  


*

  
  


Her contractions start on their way there and the interval between them gets shorter the closer they get to the hospital. She’s squeezing at his hand and for such a small person she’s awfully strong. Dean has to bite down on his lips to not cry out whenever there’s a hard squeeze.

“You okay?” He asks when he feels her squeezing exceptionally hard.

“I’m not!” She’s panting, breathes the pain away, “Do I look like I’m fucking okay?”

Wow. 

Dean shuts up.

“‘M sorry,” She apologizes. When the pain’s gone it’s like she’s a whole different person. “Please whatever I say, don’t take it personally.”

“It’s alright, I get it.” Dean places her hand to his lips, kisses it.

“It’s all your fault, you know,”

Dean raises an eyebrow, “Oh, so now it’s my fault?”

“Yeah, you put that thing in me and now I have to go through this.”

“Baby,” Dean circles his thumb on the back of her hand. “Everything’s gonna be okay, alright? I promise.”

“I’m scared—oh fuck!”

Another contraction, Dean bites it out.

“Promise me something?” She’s still cramping and hisses through gritted teeth.

“Anything,”

“If something goes wrong and they take the baby away to do whatever they need to — you go with the baby. Don’t worry about me, alright?”

“Y/N,” Dean swallows. He really doesn’t want to think about that. The chance of things like these happening is so small.

“Promise me, Dean.”

“Okay, alright. I promise,” He says, seals his promise with a kiss on the back of her hand. 

  
  


*

  
  


They’re waiting in the birthing room, and she has changed into a hospital gown that leaves her backside wide open. She’s hooked to a machine but she paces around — apparently it helps with the pain — pushing the machine everywhere with her. 

He wonders if she’s going to be mad if he took a picture. 

Yeah, she probably will, so he abandons the thought.

It’s two hours later when things start to get interesting. Her cervix dilated a full 9cm and the head’s already poking out. Dean only knows it from the doctor though, and didn't really see it with his own eyes. 

Apparently he’s not allowed to watch because it could scar him for life. 

They certainly don’t know him. 

Honestly though, he doesn’t know if he would want to see it even if he would be allowed. It’s not that he thinks it’s disgusting, he just thinks he’ll probably faint because he can barely keep himself upright next to her, has to brace his elbows on the bed, because his legs feel wobbly. 

He brushes the sweat away from her forehead, strokes her hair back and kisses her. Her hand squeezes down on his again and Dean’s not complaining even though his hand feels numb. But she’s going through a lot more pain than he is, so he should fucking suck it up.

Dean tries his best to help her, breathes with her in between pushes, brushes her sweat away, talks her through it whenever she thinks of giving up and thinks that she can’t make it. 

“Got it!” The doctor shouts and a nurse rushes to her aid, places the newborn onto a blanket and rubs it clean, it starts to cry immediately. 

And in that moment, when the crying hit Dean’s ear, that’s the moment he broke as well, he just can’t hold it back anymore. The relief he feels is incredible.

He looks over to Y/N, and she weeps. Dean moves closer, cradles her face and lets her weep into his neck. The collar of his shirt is wet, he couldn’t care less. 

“Do you want to know the sex now?” The nurse asks, and Dean’s not even sure. “You can come cut the umbilical cord, you’ll see it then.”

“Uh, I really don’t know if I should,” 

“Dean, come on, I could push it out and now you can do it too.” Y/N says softly before her another wave of pain hits her. He didn’t even know why because the baby is out, right?

“Baby,” He says, leans over and grabs at her hand. 

“She’s fine.” The nurse assures him, “It’s the placenta that needs to get out too.”

Oh well, that’s so fucking reassuring. It doesn’t help calming his heart because he thought that the pain was over. 

“I’m fine, go.” Y/N says, breathes again and pushes and Dean reluctantly leaves her side.

His heart is beating fast, and he’s shaky on his feet. He hopes he won’t pass out before he reaches the nurse because that would be  _ really _ embarrassing. He’s Dean fucking Winchester, not a wimp who passes out when his girl gives birth to his baby. So he stands up a little straighter, breathes in and walks towards the nurse. 

The nurse is smirking at him, was probably watching him while he prep-talked himself in his mind into walking here and Dean should mind, should maybe be a tiny bit embarrassed but he sees the baby and the nurse is the last thing he cares about right now. 

“We think you should tell the sex to your wife,” The nurse whispers and hands him the scissor. Dean unceremoniously cuts the cord, wonders if he should have done anything else? Say a few words before? Like they do when they christen a ship or something? But either way, his brain isn’t capable of thinking. He’s not even saying anything when the nurse says wife instead of fiancée or girlfriend. Maybe because he doesn’t mind the word. It actually sounds quite good in his ears.

When he wants to return to Y/N, all while he tries not to look at the mess between her legs, the nurse pulls at his arm, “You’re coming with me Mr. Winchester,” So he follows, because that’s what Y/N told him to do.  _ Whatever happens, go with the baby _ , she said and so Dean does. 

He stands next to the nurse when she cleans his baby. She then proceeds to wrap the baby back up into the blanket and hands it to him. His first instinct is to kiss the baby, right there between it’s eyebrows. He’s sweating again now, is not sure if he can hold it and walk over at the same time, and he senses that the nurse knows, he’s probably not the only idiot who feels lost and overwhelmed so the nurse has her hand on Dean’s arm, with one hand braced on his back as she helps guide him back to Y/N. 

He smiles at her because she smiles at him. She’s crying and he knows he is too because everything’s blurry. 

Dean sits on the bed with half his body, leans over to hand her the baby. 

Their baby. 

When the baby’s secured in Y/N’s arms, Dean moves to the side, leaning on the bed so he can kiss her cheeks, her temple, and then they marvel at the baby together, while one of her hands comes up to pet his cheek, fingers stroking his scruff. 

“It’s a girl,” Dean whispers, has to control his voice so as not to cry again. 

“A girl?” Y/N’s sobbing and he turns to kiss her again. 

“A girl.” 

“Dean, we have a girl,” She says and then she stops stroking him, takes her hand back to place it on the girl's face, and paints the pad of her index finger along their baby girl's nose, her eyebrows. And then she lifts the baby, kisses her.

“We have a girl.” Dean repeats and his arm goes up, wraps them around the two most precious things that’s his. Because that’s what it is, ain’t it? They’re his. He’s keeping them. He’s not going to let anything or anyone take them away from him.


	5. Chapter 5

Dean’s sleeping on the couch in the private room he upgraded her to because Y/N needs to stay for a night and he wants her to be as comfortable as possible. She guesses that it has a lot to do about her hating hospitals. 

He doesn’t look like he’s sleeping comfortably at all though, his big body nearly spills out of that tiny couch. His upper body twists away from the rest and she’s sure that his back will hurt like a bitch once he wakes up. He looks almost comical and she takes her phone, snaps a picture. Maybe she’ll make it her home screen. 

She likes to take pictures of him in unflattering circumstances because it’s the only way she can be reminded that Dean is not perfect after all. He might look perfectly delicious all the time but he’s certainly not perfect in every sense and that’s totally perfect to her. She wouldn’t want it any other way.

Ella’s sleeping in her cot next to Y/N’s bed. 

Ella.

She remembers the start of their journey in search of a perfect name. Either one of them always had the right to veto and if someone vetoes, the name must be dropped completely. Dean suggested girls names and she doesn’t know if he knew women with these names? Maybe he did. Maybe he even slept with half of the names he suggested and really she didn’t want to be that kind of girl but she does have insecurities and that’s just how she is as a person. She can’t change the fact that she’s always going to be jealous because he’s had so much more and could still have women better than her. Y/N knows that her way of thinking is dumb, because he chose her after all, he wants to marry her, he has a baby with her—

—yet still...

So, when one day she suggested Ella — because she loved Cinderella when she grew up — Dean was quick to agree, there was no pausing to think or anything, just Dean repeating the name a couple of times, to hear it roll off his tongue. He then just walked to the chalkboard they had, with names written on it to choose from, and put Ella right on top. And it stayed there until the day she gave birth.

The girl starts to stir in her cot and Y/N leans over, takes the baby out and tries to dock Ella on her still milkless breasts. The nurse informed her, but she already heard it from Anna too, that the milk will only come a couple of days later. Nonetheless the baby needs to drink now and apparently she has already produced colostrum that Ella would be needing in the first couple of days. 

Now Y/N’s trying to do what the nurse taught her before. She docks her little girl to her nipple and lets Ella suck the needed milk out of her. She’s not going to lie, it hurts like hell, has to bite down on her lips not to cry out and wake Dean up. And with every suck on her nipple, she feels something flowing out of her down there, and she gets cramps in her stomach. They’re not worse than menstruation cramps though, so at least there’s that.

Ella starts to grunt and trashes around with her arms and that’s when Y/N knows that she needs to switch breasts. While she does it, Ella starts to cry, which prompts Dean to wake up from his short nap.

He blinks and rubs the sleep out of his eyes, yawns once more before he sits up and stretches himself. Dean looks over when he remembers where he was, sees her docking Ella to her nipple and he stills then as he watches her nurse their baby. 

She chuckles at him, “Maybe you should take a picture, it’ll last longer.” 

He grins, it’s all cocky, and that’s when she knows that she shouldn’t have said that. 

Dean grabs his phone out of his pants, “Okay,”

“I was joking, put that thing back.”

Dean laughs and stands up, walks over to her to sit on the bed, leans down to kiss her and then Ella. 

“I’m not gonna lie,” He says, as he watches his daughter drink from her, “Maybe you’d think I’m a creep but seeing you nursing her turns me on very much.”

“Ugh,” Y/N huffs out, “No sex, Dean. Never again.”

He raises his eyebrow, “Never?”

“You heard me. It brought me into this situation in the first place. And I’m all messed up down there. You can’t change my mind.” She strokes Ella’s head while the little one sucks her nipple raw. 

“That’s a challenge I’m up to.” He grins.

After a while Ella finishes and falls asleep right on her naked chest. Dean leans down, noses at the baby’s head. Takes in the baby’s scent. It smells heavenly, she knows. 

“Dean? Could you go to the bag and get a little box out of it? It’s in the side pocket. I can’t remember which side, though.”

“Okay,” He pushes himself up from the bed and walks over to the bag, he tries the side pocket, comes up empty handed and tries the other one. 

Fishing out the box, he looks at it but he doesn’t get suspicious at all. He walks back to her and hands it over but she shakes her head, doesn’t take it. “No, it’s for you.”

“For me?” He frowns and she thinks it’s cute how he has no clue whatsoever.

Y/N nods, smiles up to him, to which Dean frowns some more. “Go on, open it.”

And that he does, opens up to the ring she bought for him. His jaw drops. Dean looks to the ring, back to her, and to the ring again. 

“Why, what?” He swallows, “I need so sit down.” He says then, sits next to her on the bed, slides his body down a little and she moves to the side, making room for him. Dean lays down next to her, kisses her temple, his hand still holding the box. “Do you maybe want to explain why you’re giving me a ring?”

She tilts her head to look him in the eye, “Well,” She starts to say and is somehow not struggling with the words as much as she thought she would be, “I thought you’ve been so good with me, with us. You’ve been so patient, and you let me insult you on a daily basis,”

“You didn’t do it on purpose, so,” He mumbles, throws it in. 

“You shush, my lips are still moving, I’m still talking.” 

Dean snorts.

“Right, where was I?” She tries to remember, “So, you were really my rock, and I’m sorry I made you go to the store so many times.”

“That’s okay,” He kisses her temple once more, his hands are still holding that damn box and he doesn’t take out the ring yet and she knows it’s because she doesn’t tell him to.

“I was just thinking that it’s not fair that it’s only me who gets to wear a ring to know where I belong. Just as you want to keep me, Dean, I want to keep you too. Will you let me keep you?” 

Dean chuckles, and he sniffles a little but he’s quick to bury his face in the side of her neck, and when she tilts her head, he quickly looks up and kisses her. She knows that it’s because he doesn’t want to come across as a wimp because of the amount he already cried in the last twenty-four hours. 

“Yeah, of course,” He whispers against her mouth, and she smiles into the kiss. 

“Take it out, wear it.” Y/N urges him and he has to tell her to calm down before he slips it on his ring finger. It fits him like a glove, she made sure of it. He doesn’t ask her how she knows what size he needs though, but she guesses he knows that Cas has something to do with it.

“You’re full of surprises, you know that?” He noses at her temple. “I love it, thank you.”

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


It’s two days later that her milk starts to come in. She knows because as soon as she wakes up, her chest feels funny.

Dean brings Ella over from the girl’s bedroom. That’s right, Their girl is sleeping in the other room because Y/N couldn’t get any sleep when they were all in the same room. She would hear every grunt, every movement and it drove her crazy. 

Y/N thought that she was an awful mother to not want her baby close but Anna told her that she felt the same. It was kind of a relief to know that she wasn’t the only one. 

During the day, Ella’s always by her side, it’s just the nights that she needs space. 

So, Dean volunteered to go get her while she tries to get out of bed with a funny feeling. Her chest feels heavy, and her breasts feel like they’re burning up. She rolls out of bed, stands in front of the floor lengths mirror and lifts her shirt, and  _ holy shit _ !

Her tits are ginormous, hard and heavy, there’s stretch marks on the side of her boobs and around her nipple, blue veins all across it. Her tits look absolutely fake and they’re near exploding.

Dean walks in, all smiles, and in only his underwear, balancing his girl on his arm when he stops dead in his tracks. “Jesus, baby, what happened to your boobs?”

She turns around then, her hands still holding up the shirt but she can’t focus on her own chest, instead she looks at Dean. He looks so damn yummy in only his boxer briefs and their girl in his arms, his bed hair standing out in all different directions and she loves that, thinks that she’s really the luckiest girl in the world. 

  
  
  


_____________________________

  
  
  
  


Dean does his best to hide his boner while he watches her nurse their baby girl. He’s so mesmerized that he didn’t even hear her calling for him to go get a towel because her other boob is leaking. 

And it really, truly is leaking because the milk just flows out and now he can’t take his eyes off it either.

He didn’t hear her tell him to go get a cloth, which prompts her to elbow him in the ribs. 

Dean runs to the bathroom, comes out with a fresh cloth and holds it to her tit. Jesus, it’s so full and hard, same as his cock.

“You’re hard,” She chuckles as if she can read his mind.

Well, she doesn’t have to be a mind reader to know it since she can most definitely see a clear dick print through his underwear.

“Yeah, can’t help it. What would you say w—”

“—No,”

“Baby,”

“Dean, I’m still in a fucking diaper myself, even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. It’s yuck.”

“Yuck?” He laughs, “I was only joking,” He moves closer, presses his lips to her naked shoulder. He really did joke, because after all, he wants for her to get better. 

And the diaper thing is kind of true either. They were laughing about it on their way back from the hospital. She’s not laughing about it anymore, though. 

When they released her, they said that her vagina should heal soon. Dean hopes so too. He absolutely hates to see her struggling with so many things at the same time, and wishes sometimes that he could nurse Ella himself so at least she gets that weight off her shoulders but since it’s not possible, he just tries to help as best as he can. 

Dean found out that he’s a fairly reasonable diaper changer. It took a lot to get there though. When he changed his first diaper, he gagged so hard the tears shot right into his eyes and Y/N just stood there laughing. He then found out that if he pins a peg to his nose and only breathes through his mouth, it was bearable.

His hands are too big though, so he has trouble cleaning Ella thoroughly and it takes him much longer than when Y/N does it. He also accidentally slips occasionally, and would dip his hand into the warm poo every time he rolls the damn diaper up, and then he’s gagging again, even if he doesn't even smell it. 

So despite all that, life’s really good right now. Everyone’s healthy and he hopes it’ll stay that way.

  
  
  


_____________________________

  
  
  
  


They settled into life with little Ella. She mostly keeps them (or rather Y/N) up all night because she’s only two weeks old and her feeding schedule right now is every three hours.

Y/N tries to get in naps during the day when Dean can take care of Ella’s other needs and everything that needs to be done in the house. She’s really thankful for that, thankful that they’re able to live comfortably and Dean doesn’t have to go to work to provide for his family. She knows that it’s a privilege and she doesn’t take it for granted. 

Another thing she’s thankful for is Dean being a closet neat freak. Oh, he can be sloppy too, but in moderation. Only if he wants to be. Most of the time though, he picks up after her and Ella and now more than ever because he wants to make himself useful around the house. 

She usually takes naps after a feeding. She would hand Ella to Dean and leave him to do the rest with changing diapers and walking around with her until she falls asleep again while Y/N plants herself on the sofa. She falls asleep immediately too and sometimes she would wake up with Dean spooning her and taking a nap too. 

They’ve become so lazy, living like sloths for the first four weeks. Only when Ella’s feeding time changes to every four hours do they go out to take walks, taking Truffles with them and that boy loves the little baby to death. He constantly watches her, alarms them when Ella so much as lets out a grunt.

Bubbles needed more time to adjust though, but Y/N can feel that the cat slowly accepts the new family member. 

Y/N takes a shower after she feeds Ella and Dean takes over, changing her diaper and lays her down for the night. When she walks out from the bathroom, Dean’s not in their room, which is unusual because it’s already late and he usually goes to bed when she does.

She slips a shirt over her head before she walks out to search for Dean in Ella's room. But the house is awfully silent as soon as she steps onto the landing. The door to Ella’s room is wide open and there’s no sign of either Ella or Dean.

Walking down the stairs, she doesn’t see them in the living room either, but then she hears creaking of wood.

The door to the terrace is open, she can hear the rocking chair outside through the thin screen door. She hears a bass too, a humming of a melody.

She tiptoes closer, comes to stand on the inside, listening to Dean humming to their baby girl.

He’s sitting in the rocking chair, rocks back and forth with Ella on his chest, a blanket draped over both of them. 

Dean’s humming Metallica, and she has to smirk. Ella stirs on his chest, yawning.

“What? You don’t like it?” He whispers to her before he chuckles softly. 

Y/N watches Dean placing a kiss on Ella’s temple, her heart fills with joy. Ella doesn’t really register Dean but he starts to talk to their girl in a soft voice. A voice he uses whenever he soothes Y/N. A voice he whispers when he wants to reassure her that she’s all he wants. 

She sees him looking up to the sky. The stars are all out tonight. 

“Daddy loves you so much,” Dean whispers, places another kiss on the little girl's cheek, “Mommy loves you, too.”

Dean leans his head back, rocks back and forth before he sighs, “Daddy has done bad things, Ella. Things that might come back to haunt me. I’ll explain everything to you when you’re older, alright? Not going to lie to you.”

Y/N’s heart that just filled itself with joy starts to ache and she hugs her arms around her body tighter.

“I wanna see you grow up. Wanna see you becoming a strong girl. I really hope I’ll get to see that.” Dean’s voice is shaking a little, she can hear it.

“But if I can’t, the only thing you have to know is that daddy loves you, okay? So, so much. You’re going to be a good girl for mommy, you hear me?”

Little Ella stirs, as if she listened and understood what Dean just told her. 

Dean smiles, kisses Ella once more.

Y/N retreats, leaves Dean quality time with his daughter. She’ll ask him later what he means, because the thing he just said worries her.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if you like it so far :)


	6. Chapter 6

It’s a month later that they’re invited to Sam’s birthday party and it’s actually the first outing with Ella. 

They’ve held an open house on one weekend where friends would drop by throughout the day to come see them. It was actually Dean’s idea and she agreed because it sounded better than scheduling visitations with all of the people who would want to meet their newborn girl. 

Even Linda dropped by and that woman was all over Ella, didn’t even want to let the little girl out of her sight and held on to her for the whole time she was here. Truffles followed them around either. Poor boy was afraid that Linda would take Ella home with her. 

Sam lives just outside the city, in a suburban big white house with white fences and landscaped garden. It looks picturesque and pretty. It’s a total contrast to their home. It’s more modern, fits more into the lifestyle Sam has. A lifestyle Dean left behind.

Dean carries Ella, of course he does, was the first out of the car and hurried to take Ella out of her car seat, fearing that she’d reach their child first. He grins cocky when he sees Y/N schlepping the diaper bag and a gift for Sam.

She rolls her eyes for the dramatic effect but she smirks, because it’s cute how proud he is. 

Jess sits with Y/N out on their porch while both of them are holding their babies and chat. It’s the second time that Ella meets her cousin Jack and Anna joins them later with Elijah. 

They talk and laugh, complaining too because Anna’s the closest in getting back into her old shape while Y/N still struggles with her flabby stomach the most. 

Dean doesn’t seem to mind her body change at all. Doesn’t seem to mind the excess skin, the stretch marks. Because every time she’s naked, she wants to hide from him, but he’d make her show him, looks at her like he always did, makes her feel like she’s his fucking world. Last time was this morning while Ella was still asleep when they took a bath together and he made sure to touch every inch of her. Brushed his hands across her stomach, let his fingertips trail along her stretch marks. He kissed her shoulder, the nape of her neck, she could feel him hard underneath her. 

They haven’t had sex yet since she gave birth. She wants to wait until she feels comfortable again and he was okay with it, never pressuring her into anything. They did all the other things which doesn’t involve him sticking his cock into her pussy. 

Dean has the patience of a saint and she really doesn’t know what he sees in her. She still has these doubts, can’t help it, even if she knows that she shouldn’t. 

The men are talking together, drinking beers, laughing. And she thinks it’s good. This life is definitely good. 

But then something shifts, she can see it in Dean’s eyes, can see it in the tense of his shoulder when he follows Sam inside. 

They didn’t stay away long, maybe five minutes, ten tops. When they return, Dean looks relaxed again and she’s not sure if he’s pretending like he always used to or if he’s genuinely smiling. Can’t really see if from this far. Sam excuses himself, goes to talk to other people and then she sees Gabriel joining Dean and Cas, sees them sticking their heads together, talking without moving their lips too much. 

Other people might not notice anything wrong or different, but she’s not other people. She’s trained to notice little details and she can’t lie. It’s worrying her.

  
  


*

  
  


Back home she nurses Ella and tells Dean that she needs a quiet moment to paint. Just like Dean uses pottery to find his center, she uses painting. She’s painting every day now, their garage is full with her paintings.

She spends about an hour in there and walks out after, takes a quick shower and slips into one of Dean’s shirts. They’re the most comfortable at the moment and he loves for her to wear them so there’s a win-win right there. She leaves the top four buttons open, it’s easier to get in and out for nursing either. 

It’s already late and she wants to lie down but decides to see what Dean’s up to. She walks down the stairs, but Dean’s not in the living room. She only finds Bubbles while Truffles is at his new favorite place, with that place being right in front of Ella’s room. 

Y/N sees light spilling out of Dean’s study where the door’s standing ajar. 

“Hey,” She pokes her head in, sees Dean sitting in his chair, a black manila folder with a couple of papers splayed on it. The baby monitor propped right where he can always see it. 

He notices her, looks up from the desk. He’s startled at first, but then his lips spread into a warm smile. She guesses that it’s the shirt she’s wearing that does all the trick. 

She walks in and he pushes his chair back, makes room for her to climb in on his lap and she sits on one of his thighs, hooks her arms around his neck and kisses his scruff. “Watchu doing in here?”

Her eyes trail along the desk, sees the papers, a lot of words are written on them. The sight of these little words alone makes her head spin.

Dean takes the stack and hands it to her, “Read it,”

She really doesn’t want to read anything right now but does it anyway of course because she’s too curious. 

_ Last Will & Testament  _

“Dean, no,” She mumbles as soon as she reads the first line.

He noses at her temple while she reads it, kisses her cheek, “Dean, yes,”

She goes on to read more.

_ In case of my death or disappearance. _

“Disappearance?” She asks, it seems like a weird clause to put in and then her jaw drops. She feels some kind of anger, pushes herself away from him, gets up and paces around the room while Dean only watches her, his expression hardens.

“Y/N,” He starts to say, his voice is deep, low. It’s steady and calm like he doesn’t want to raise his voice but putting his foot down. She hates when he does that. It makes her feel like she’s the unreasonable one in here when he’s the one who fucking drafts up a fucking will.

“Are you planning on disappearing? Is this what it is?” She spits out, it comes out more accusatory than she intends and she adds, a little softer, because she doesn’t want to fight because of that, “Are you going to leave us?”

“Jesus,” Dean groans, clasps a hand over his face, scratches at his scruff like he always does when he’s trying to say something so she would get him, “I could never,” He leans back in his chair, looks at her like he always does, like she’s the world, like the world is his to touch and he reaches out a hand for her to take, “But you know  _ what  _ I was.  _ Who  _ I was. You know  _ what  _ I did. People tend to disappear in my old line of work.”

She doesn’t take his hand, and paces around some more, for fucking good measure because she’s fuming mad. She lets out a frustrating sound that comes out of the depths of her throat, “What do you mean? Do you know something I don’t know? Is someone coming after you?”

“No!” Dean shouts, squints his eyes because it came out loud and they shouldn’t be loud if they don’t want to wake up Ella, “No, I’m just trying to cover all bases because you never know what  _ could  _ happen,” 

Y/N waves with the papers in her hands, exhales loudly and walks up and down. When she’s close enough to him, Dean grabs a hold of her, pulls her into him. He hugs her tight, and she knows that he’s not letting her go.

“Read it,” He’s voice is much gentler, his lips close to her ears as he whispers the words.

She sighs before she goes on with reading.

“You’re leaving everything to me?”

“Yeah,” He says and then he moves her, makes her straddle him, his hand comes up to tuck a strand of hair back behind her ear that got loose from the bun on her head, “I trust you to use it in Ella’s best interest.” 

Her eyes get teary. She doesn’t want that. Doesn’t want to even think about a life without him. 

“You’d have to sit down with me, though,” His voice is soft, calming. Rational even. Which means that he thought this through, “There’s a lot of paperwork that we have to do because we’re not married.”

She thinks about his words, lets them sink in before she speaks, “Would you want to? Still?” She asks, and adds, “Marry me, I mean,”

Dean lets out a chuckle, it vibrates underneath of her. “More than you know,” His fingers play with the buttons of her shirt, “But I don’t want to pressure you. I understand if you wouldn’t want to.” 

She swallows her tears down. 

“It drives me nuts to have fewer rights just because we’re not married,” Dean sighs, “If something happens to you, I don’t even get to be at your side all the time and vice versa. You don’t get to decide anything and it actually terrifies me that even though you only have me in your life, I still can’t be with you when worse comes to worst.”

His words hit her differently. She never thought about that. Never thought about what Dean has probably been thinking for weeks or months. And he’s right, she knows he is. It makes more sense now since they already have a child together. It’s in Ella’s best interest. She knows that, too. 

Y/N places the stack of paper blindly back on the desk and cradles his face, the scruff prickles on her palm. She leans her forehead on his, pecks his lips, their noses touch. 

“If you want it, then let’s do it,” She whispers, kisses him once more, harder, deeper and Dean breathes into the kiss.

“Baby, you don’t have to,”

“I know but I want to,” She smiles then, kisses him again to shut him up. 

She feels him grinning into the kiss, his hands holding her tighter, and they stroke down her back until he has her ass in the palm of his hand.

Their kiss grows heavier, like it always does. Everything builds up so quickly.

“Then we do it,” He laughs when he breaks from the kiss and she nods her head, kisses him again, can’t quite get enough of him. She sucks on his tongue, making him moan out.

She’s wet down there either, and she grinds down harder, searches for friction, is met by his hard cock. 

Dean helps her grind on him, guides her on him with his hands on her ass. 

“Fuck,” He breathes out, kisses her cheek, her jaw, nibbles at her throat, “Wanna fuck you so bad,”

“I want that too,” She says almost breathlessly and Dean kisses down her throat, stopping short to look up at her. 

“You sure?” He raises one eyebrow at her and she nods, smiles a reassuring smile.

“Fuck,” He curses again, and then his hands come down on her ass, spanks down and makes her yelp up with a laughter. 

Dean stands up with her still in his arms, “Hold on,” He says and she does, hooks her legs behind his waist and he leans down, picks up the baby monitor and clears his desk with one clean swipe before he lays her down on it and places the baby monitor back so they would know when Ella starts to cry. 

She frowns at him, because now everything’s on the floor.

“Always wanted to do that once in my life,” Dean laughs before he kisses her again, works his way down her throat, sucks at her pulse point, making her arch her back. He doesn’t lose time in unbuttoning her shirt, pulls at the seam and her breasts are free because she left so many buttons undone in the first place. 

Eagerly, he sucks at her nipple, probably tasting milk because she leaks it without meaning to. He kneads the one he’s not kissing, and she moans out at the sensation. She’s so fucking sensitive. 

While he still kisses her chest, his hands trail down, hooking his fingers around her panties and pulling them down. He abandons her chest shortly to take them off and she whines at the loss of contact. Dean kneels down right after, kissing and biting his way up her thighs. One thigh first and then the other, teasing her. 

“Dean,” She calls out, wanting him to stop teasing her. His teeth scraping along the inner of her thighs and she writhes.

“I got you,” Dean breathes hot air against her soaked pussy, and he takes his finger, threads it through her slick before he rubs at her clit.

It’s awfully silent and she comes up to her elbow, sees him staring at her pussy, as if it holds all the answers to his questions. It makes her blush to see him staring at her most private part like that, “Dean,”

“Christ, you’re so wet,” He whispers and then he realizes that she’s still waiting.

His eyes meet hers and he holds her gaze, sticks out his tongue and licks a broad stripe up from her pussy to her clit with his massive tongue. Dean pauses and swallows, “Jesus, can’t get enough of your taste.”

Dean begins to lick and suck at her clit and opening, breathes through his nose as he does it, the hot air hits her right and she arches her back, pushing her cunt against his face. 

Her hands fists in his hair, and Dean licks faster, sucks harder, her knuckles are turning white, blunt nails digging into his scalp. 

And he looks up at her, crinkles deep because he is smiling and humming. 

“Dean, I’m—”

She didn’t even finish her sentence, spasms around him, thighs pressing together, trapping his head and he lets her. Lets her grind against his face until she comes down from her high and releases her grip around his head.

Dean chuckles when he comes up again, kisses each of her thighs, sucks at each of her nipples in passing, leaving a wet trail from there to her mouth. He claims her lips, pushing his tongue into her, lets her suck her own taste from it.

She breaks the kiss, leaves her forehead on his, her hand brushes at his lips, his scruff. He’s soaked.

“I almost died down there,” Dean’s still a little out of breath, “Good thing I made a will, huh?”

She rolls her eyes at him and he grins, thrust his clothed cock against her wet cunt, making her laugh out loud. 

“Fuck,” His voice is deep, “Can I fuck you now? I can barely hold myself together.”

She smiles at him, nods her approval, “Please,”

Dean’s grin widens, pecks her lips once more and pushes himself up, and she watches him hurriedly losing his jeans, just enough so he can pull them up again should Ella require his attention. 

He jerks himself three times before taking a step closer to lean over her, the head of his cock rubs against her slick cunt. He coats it with her wetness, rubs it up and down and she squirms.

“I’m excited,” He smiles with that golden boy smile, showing his teeth before he pushes himself forward and sinks in, both of them groan out in unison. 

It has been so long for her to be filled so fully, “Shit,” She curses out and Dean stills when he bottoms out. 

“You okay?” Dean asks, kisses at the crease between her eyebrows. 

“Yeah,” She nods, “I— fuck, yeah, I’m okay. So full, but good, oh my god, I’ve missed this,”

“I know,” He starts to thrust, his hand taking one of her legs, lifts it and braces it on his shoulder. The angle changes and she’s moans, “You feel so fucking good, still so goddamn tight— fuck!”

“Harder, Dean! Please,” Because it is what it is. She’s missed it, missed how his wet balls slaps against her ass when he fucks her hard and she wants to feel just that.

He picks up his pace, fucking her harder likes she demands of him.

“God you’re so deep,” She closes her eyes and bites down on her bottom lip.

“Should I not go de— Jesus!” 

She wraps the one leg that’s not on his shoulder around him, pulls him closer, making him go even deeper and it hurts. It hurts so good. She loves the pain. Her hands go down her body, tweaks one of her nipples and the other hand goes further down to rub at her clit. 

“Dean, choke me,” Her voice is strained, already so fucking close again.

“You sure?” 

“Uh-huh,”

“Uh-huh?” His hand travels up her body, slaps down on her tits on his way up and then she feels it, feels his big hand clawing around her throat, “You’re close, ain’t you, baby? Fuck— I—, you’re squeezing me.” Dean puts pressure on her throat, squeezes down on it, “Come, baby. Come on my cock like you used to,”

Y/N feels her toe curl up, pins and needles traveling up her legs, settles at her center. Her eyes roll back into her head and she convulses, shaking all over when she comes. 

Dean pushes himself over the edge with her, too, releases his grip on her throat and leans down, buries his face into the crook of her neck, sucks at her throat when he releases himself into her with a grunt.

He leaves little kisses on her throat, her jaw, her chin, kisses her between chuckles, “You look so goddamn beautiful when you come,” He props himself up a little then, hovers above her, steals a kiss, and one more. “Shit, I haven’t asked if you take your pills again,”

“I don’t,” 

“Baby, no!” 

She can hear the panic in his voice and has to hide her smirk, “Why? You don’t want another baby?”

“I do, I want a whole bunch, and you know that,” Dean says, and adds, “but I also want your body to have time to breathe.” Dean frowns and she cranes her neck, kisses him in between his eyebrows where there’s a deep crease.

“Relax, Dean. We’re good. I was joking,” She can’t hold back her laugh anymore.

“You little minx,” Dean growls, kisses her nose and pretends to bite it off, “I almost had a heart attack, Jesus! You’re a fucking pain in my ass, you know that, right?”

She’s still laughing and he joins her, but their laughter stops abruptly when they hear the baby monitor coming to life. Ella grunts through the speaker. 

“Shhh,” Dean hushes and touches his nose to hers, “Maybe if we pretend we didn’t hear she’ll stop,”

She giggles at that and he nuzzles his nose along her cheeks. 

Ella’s not stopping though, grunts some more and then she cries softly. They can hear Truffles barking from upstairs.

“Ugh,” Dean sighs, pecks her forehead and pushes himself away from her, “I don’t think we need a baby monitor, Truffles does all the work,”

He slips his dick out of her, is half hard again, she can see, she doesn’t think he’s been soft at all, at least it didn’t feel like it inside of her. 

Dean helps her up, “I’ll go see what she needs and you take your time,” He pulls his jeans back up, doesn’t bother to zip up or anything. He picks up her panties from the floor, holds it out for her to take before he places his hand on the back of her neck, draws her in, “We’re really getting married?”

She smirks a little, because that’s so Dean. He asks because he wants for her to be sure. She nods, smiling, “We are.”

“Okay, then I’m going to see what our girl needs now, future Mrs. Winchester,” Dean smiles, bright and white and leaves a last lingering kiss before he walks out. 

There’s a flutter in her chest when she watches him go, the name feels alien to her when she’s called that, yet it does feel right, too.

  
  
  



	7. Chapter 7

It’s mid-September. The leaves are starting to change their colors, some of them already falling down. Little brown and yellow dots, a stark contrast to the green grass. Dean loves it. Loves when the season changes, loves how he can even smell the air change around him, loves how the leaves crunches underneath his boots. 

He’s in his study. It overlooks the backyard, because it’s the room below their bedroom. Y/N’s right above him, she most likely sees the same thing when she looks out of the window into their backyard. They’re lucky with the weather, too, today.

She probably does look out right now. If she does, she’ll see the people mingling, sees the flower arch, sees the little white chairs in front of it. She’ll see Bobby who’s dressed to the nines, nervously reciting his speech. The old man looks different without his cap and plaid shirt. 

What she doesn’t see, though, is some people hiding behind the big trees on the outskirts of their property. What she doesn’t see is that there are always cars outside their gate. Cars and people who always have an eye on them. 

Gabe set up his company and employed the best of people like Dean asked him to. It seems like everyone knows about it, because almost everyone’s involved, but Dean’s still been too much of a coward to tell her. He knows that he has to one day but not today. To be fair, he also never found the right time to tell her before because she was so preoccupied with organizing a wedding and Dean really didn’t see the point in interfering with her organizing. Didn’t see the point to scare her with it so she would maybe blow the whole thing off. He’ll tell her when the right time comes. He knows he has to.

“Hey,” Cas knocks and opens the door, pulling Dean back from his thoughts.

“Hey Cas,” Dean greets his long time friend. 

Cas walks in, closing the door behind him, and walks over to where Dean’s standing by the window, “How are you?”

Dean snorts, “I’m sweating,” It’s true, he’s sweating bullets and hates the feeling, “You know, I thought the birth of Ella was the only time that I’ll feel like this but no, today is right at the top.” Dean takes a breath, braces his hands on the window sill and looks down, “It’s crazy isn’t it? I wanted this. I wanted everything, I got everything and now I’m about to fucking chicken out.”

“Hey,” Cas hushes, places a hand on Dean’s shoulder, “You’ve got this. I mean, I went through it, you can either. You fucking wimp!”

Dean chuckles at that and then there’s a knock before they both look back to see Sam slipping in. 

Sam looks at both of them, an amused look on his face, “Hey, you’re still here, I thought you’d run for the hills.”

“Well, he’s about to,” Cas grins, “Got here on time to keep him from doing it.”

“I might have something for ya,” Sam wriggles with his eyebrows and produces a flask from his suit jacket. 

“Yes, please,” Dean sighs, takes it and unscrews the flask to take a long swig from it. He squints at the burn and shakes his head as he lets the liquor warm his throat. 

  
  
  


*

  
  


Dean’s standing in front of the flower arch, Cas and Sam were standing there with him. He looks into the faces of the guest, sees them all smiling back at him, some nodding. There aren’t many, two handfuls at best. 

Y/N told him that she wouldn’t want something big and he agreed. He didn’t want to marry her and make a lavish party out of it. He would have married her in Vegas with the attendance of Elvis, if that’s what she would have wanted. He didn’t actually really care as long as it was him and her. Didn’t care as long as she still wants to. 

He never thought that he’d be so nervous though, never thought that he’d be the one who almost chickens out of something  _ he  _ wanted in the first place. 

Linda’s sitting in the first row, balancing Ella on her lap. And she still frowns at Dean, that woman probably will never get used to him. 

They were doing everything themselves today and every guest takes part in the wedding as they have brought food or baked a cake, Sam offered to be the DJ and Dean’s still not really okay with that. 

It’s crazy how Dean has money to rent out the best location with the best of catering but all Y/N wants is something small in their backyard. Looking at it, Dean’s very happy with her choice. All the people that truly matter to him are here and that’s really the most important thing. 

“You okay, son?” Bobby asks as they are standing next to each other. 

Bobby has gotten ordained so he can perform the little ceremony. He offered it and at first Ash wanted to do it but honestly, if Dean has to choose between Ash or Bobby, the choice is clear. Who knows where Ash would have taken this.

“Okay, here we go,” Ash announces and all the eyes shoot to the back.

Everything and everyone went silent, even the babies who were crying. Or maybe they still did but Dean’s heart is pounding so hard, all he hears is his own heartbeat. He feels hot all of a sudden, and there’s the cold sweat again beading on his forehead. 

He sees her, one hand hooks into Gabe’s arm, the other one holding a small bouquet of flowers. There’s a flower crown on her head. She’s wearing a dress in cream, frilly and lacy. She went out dress shopping last week, and wanted to wait until the last moment because she was sure she would lose some weight and Dean doesn’t even know if she lost the weight she wanted because all he knows is that she looks goddamn beautiful.

And Dean doesn’t want to be that guy, he really didn’t. He doesn’t want to cry as soon as he sees the bride but yet, here he is, grinning like an idiot and swallowing down the tears that built up as soon as he saw her. 

Y/N looks like a waking dream. Something he has anticipated for so long without even knowing it because the good dreams normally got chased away to make room for his nightmares.

Sam squeezes Dean’s shoulder and leans to whisper, “She looks beautiful.”

Dean agrees.

She really does. The prettiest little thing he did ever see. 

He watches her walk down the non-existent aisle, because two rows can’t be counted as an aisle in his opinion, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is how she looks at him when she sees him, how there’s a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth, and she bites down on her bottom lip. She’s nervous, he can see that. Well, he knows exactly how she feels. 

Gabe lets go of her and she stands next to Dean now, looking up.

“You look lovely,” He mumbles, had trouble finding the right words.

“Well, you look hot,” She grins, and Dean almost has to laugh out loud. 

“I’m not allowed to kiss you yet, am I?” Dean whispers again, is already halfway to do it but then he stops himself. 

Before she could answer him, Bobby takes the lead. 

They didn’t exchange vows, neither did they exchange rings. They both have one and that’s more than enough. They’ve talked about the vows thoroughly, and they both agree that they didn’t need anyone to know their feelings or promises for each other. It’s something between the both of them.

“You may now kiss the bride, son.” Bobby announces with a big smile on his face. 

“Jesus,” Dean rolls his eyes with a sigh, “Fucking finally,” 

Everyone laughs, including Y/N and he weaves his arm around her waist, pulls her closer. She locks her arms around his neck, and Dean looks down, sees her smiling back at him. “Hi Mrs. Winchester,”

“Hello Mr. Winchester,” She winks and laughs, “Now please kiss me, I’m dying here.”

“Always so bossy,” Dean chuckles, and he finally bends down, kisses her. The tense in his body’s gone.

The people around them were cheering but Dean tunes that out, doesn’t hear it. All he hears is his heart that still thumbs ridiculously fast. Dean breaks the kiss after a while, even though he didn’t want to but he guesses that they need to carry on with the day. He pecks her lips once more, though, for good measure and whispers to her, “You’ve had whiskey,”

She grins mischievously, “You too.” 

Dean snorts, “Not gonna lie, almost chickened out.”

“Me too,” She says and nuzzles her face into the crook of his neck as they both laugh. 

“Why didn’t you tell me, we could have eloped, have taken Ella and drove.” 

“I didn’t spend so much time planning it to be running away from it.” She looks up at him. 

He shrugs, “Fair point,” Before he takes her hand, and together they walk to their terrace where all of the people were already waiting, having made room for them and left them some privacy after the ceremony. 

  
  


*

  
  


Y/N draws a bath while Dean’s feeding Ella. The little girl’s on formula now and it actually makes things so much easier. Dean can now get up and take care of Ella and let Y/N sleep. They’re more relaxed since the change, and Y/N’s more content either. She’s had trouble with nursing for the first two months where she didn’t produce enough milk and there was a lot of crying. When they introduced Ella to weaning, they also introduced her to formula. It was the best decision, really and Dean thought that they should have made the choice sooner. They could have spared Y/N from a lot of heartache.

Dean felt helpless during that time, and Y/N felt like a failure, they were both miserable for a long time until she came to him and gestures with her hand before she started to babble, “Screw all the perfect moms, I’m not perfect and that’s okay. My body can’t give her what she needs but that doesn’t mean that I’m not a good mom.” 

And he couldn’t agree more with that. Had to talk her into it either because she told him that he should back her up on her decision and honestly, Dean agrees with whatever she wants because she knows her own body better than he does when it comes to breastfeeding. He can’t imagine going through all the hardships of it in the first place. The whole process was draining from the start with raw bloody nipples and leaking and painful breasts. Apparently breastfeeding is not for everyone, and if someone can’t do it, doesn’t really mean that they are a failure or a bad mom because of it. 

After the feeding, Y/N takes Ella from Dean and he kisses his girl good night. Dean takes off his clothes, and gets into the tub, leans his head back and closes his eyes.

He’s almost drifting off when Y/N pokes her head in, “Hey,”

She’s smiling at him, still wearing one of his plaid shirts, even if she doesn’t have to nurse Ella anymore. Dean doesn’t complain, he loves the look on her. 

“Is there room for me?” She unbuttons her shirt and takes it off, lets it pool around her ankle before she hooks her fingers through the waistband of her panties, slides them down too. 

“There’s always room for you,” Dean says in a low voice and she comes over stands naked next to the tub and the sight makes his heart beat just a little faster. 

He’s hard too, can not get hard when he sees her, a thing he both loves and hates at the same time. 

She gets in, sits on his lap and rests her head on his shoulder. Dean hugs her in the water, trails his fingertips along her body and she wiggles in his laps, feels his hard cock too. 

Her face is a little flush and the way she grinds down on him, Dean knows that she’s aroused. Apparently, he does the same thing to her like she does to him, she told him once. 

Dean kisses along her shoulder, noses behind her ear. 

“Are we supposed to consummate our marriage now?” She asks.

He chuckles before kissing the sensitive place at the back of her ear. “We don’t have to do anything, and honestly, I’m beat, even if my body doesn’t show it.”

“Oh, thank god,” She sighs, “I’m exhausted either.”

They both have to laugh, and she turns her head back, kissing him. It’s all gentle and soft before it starts to grow heavier. 

“Baby, you shouldn’t start anything you can’t finish.” Dean warns her, because even if he’s beat, the way she kisses him pushes at all his right buttons. 

“‘M sorry,” She says and turns back, but she can’t stop grinding down on him. 

“Baby,” 

“I know,” She lets out a frustrated sigh, “Like, I’m really tired but what if you just put it in, I just want to feel you inside.”

Dean’s eyebrow climbs up his forehead, “You sure?” 

She turns her head back to him, her bottom lip between her teeth and there’s a smile. “Please?”

“You know that I can never say no to you, right? I think you’re misusing your power over me.”

Snorting out a laugh, she kisses the tip of his nose before she lifts her ass up a little to position his dick at her entrance. Slowly she sits down and Dean has to hold in his breath at how fucking good it felt.

But she was true to her words, because she doesn’t move, leans her head back to rest against his shoulder. Dean should mind though, he hates to be teased like this. It’s perfect as it is, though, and strangely, he doesn’t even want more.

He trails his knuckles along her arms, “How are you feeling?”

“Good, just really tired.” 

“Me too. Who would have thought that getting married would be so exhausting, huh?”

“Yeah,” She agrees and Dean places a kiss on her temple. 

Dean leaves his lips on her temple, mumbles into the kiss, “Okay, I think I’m ready to say my vows, you wanna hear it?” 

Y/N looks back and up to him, smiling at him warmly, “Of course,”

“Okay,” Dean clears his throat, and he feels his heart picking up speed again, “You looked so beautiful to me today, but you should know that you always look beautiful to me, and you will always look beautiful. Even when you just wake up and according to you, you look like a truck ran you over. But that’s not true. That’s not what I see when I see you. You’ll look beautiful no matter what, and not only today. Tomorrow too, and the next day, and the day after the next,”

“You’re making me blush,” She says, and turns in his lap enough to be able to bury her face into the crook of his neck.

“Good,” Dean chuckles, before he goes on, “You know that I’ll always be here, right? Always going to be here along the way. I’ll stay beside you, and I’m always here if you need someone to talk, if you need someone to cuddle, even if you need someone to let your frustrations out on. And I vow to stay. Not only because I don’t have anywhere else to go but also because this is  _ it  _ for me. You are  _ it _ . You’re my home. This is what I always wanted and I didn’t even realize it. If someone would ask to close my eyes and picture happiness, all I see is you and there’s Ella, Truffles too, if he behaves, and Bubbles can go get lost.”

“Hey!” She swats one hand against his chest, splashing water into his face. 

“That cat hates me.”

“No it doesn’t.” She’s laughing now and it’s good, Dean thinks. The laughter doesn’t make him tear up as much as he wants to. 

“Can I tell you something?” She says then and Dean nods, not without kissing the top of her head. 

“Anything,”

“I know that I’m not always easy, I might not always be what you want me to be,”

Dean opens his mouth to protest because she’s basically everything he wants her to be but she hushes him with a glare.

“Okay, I might not always be the best of what I want myself to be. I have doubts, I have insecurities,” Dean nods at that, because she always set such high standards for herself, it sometimes drives him nuts. 

“And I might not always agree with you all the time because I’m stubborn,” 

Dean snorts out a “Yeah,” And she rolls her eyes at that. 

“Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I might not be perfect, but I vow that I’ll always love you. I love you not only for what you are but also for what you make me, and that is the best possible I can be, and as much as you’re keeping me, Dean? I’m keeping you. You won’t get rid of me that easily Mr. Winchester,” She chuckles and looks up, kissing his scruff.

“Not that I want to, Mrs. Winchester,” Dean mumbles, and leans down to nose at her cheek, kisses her and she kisses him back, smiles against his lips. 


	8. Chapter 8

**_...FOUR YEARS LATER..._ **

Ella’s wandering down the backyard of the house. She’s upset, angry and super mad.

Last Summer, before her little brother was born, and mommy still had a huge belly, daddy spent the whole summer building a treehouse right by the trees down by the creek. 

When he finished, daddy and her celebrated by spending the night there, sleeping on mats and covering themselves with blankets and daddy even brought out pillows from the couch. Ella doesn’t know where daddy got the snacks and sweets from, though, but they ate until her stomach was full and it hurt a little but she didn’t tell daddy, didn’t want him to be upset, and tell mommy because daddy said we shouldn’t tell mommy that they are snacking so late and she didn’t tell. Ella’s good at keeping secrets. 

The next morning though, she woke up in her own bed. Daddy said sleeping in bed was more comfortable for his old bones. But Ella knows now that he wanted to be close to mommy in case mommy needed him during the night. Daddy was right though, waking up in her own bed surrounded by her stuffed animals was really great. They then did this more often, went out to the treehouse in the evening and every time she would fall asleep, daddy would carry her back to the house. 

Ella thinks that her daddy is a big, strong man. How else could he carry her all the way back to the house? Every time she’s with him she’d feel protected. She loves her daddy because her mommy’s always a little more strict and daddy is not, but daddy said that it was because mommy loves her and Ella knows that too, she sometimes just can’t show it when mommy upsets her.

She loves the treehouse, and spends a lot of time there. It’s also a place where Ella met her new friend. He’s not as tall as daddy, his voice not as deep but he’s friendly and he listens to her and plays with her. She can complain to him about her brother, and he would just listen.

And today, Ella needs her friend the most because mommy and daddy don’t have time for her and she stormed out with Truffles trailing behind. However, the dog got distracted and Ella knows that she’s not supposed to go anywhere on her own unless Truffles comes with her, even if it’s their own backyard, she didn’t stop. It happens often that Truffles gets distracted by something lately, but that's okay because she can talk to her friend alone without Truffles interrupting them. When Truffles would find her with her friend, he would start to fletch his teeth and growl at her friend, and as a result of that, her friend will always leave immediately. 

Ella climbs up the stairs to her treehouse. It’s not steep, daddy had made sure of it. Mainly because he wanted for Truffles to be able to go up and down with her without any problems.

She sits against the wall, hugs her knees to her chest, rests her forehead on her knees and wishes for her friend to show up. It usually always works when she thinks of him very hard and wishes for him to show up.

“How are you, little one?” The voice is familiar to her, it’s her friend. She looks to the door to see a dark haired man dressed in all black.

“‘M okay,” Ella says, and it’s a lie. Daddy told her to never lie but she just doesn’t want her friend to be worried about her. She’s upset about something stupid and it’s embarrassing if he finds out. Maybe her friend wouldn’t want to be her friend anymore if he knows.

“You sure you’re okay, love? You don’t look okay to me,” He kneels down next to her, and Ella thinks he maybe shouldn’t have done it because he’ll get his trousers all dirty. 

He always looks so put together, his clothes always neat and clean. The opposite of hers, Ella thinks. She always has holes in her pants and shirts, and they’re dirty as can be. Her parents would dress her all nice but they will all end up being dirty at the end of the day. She just loves to play outside too much.

“You know that you can tell me everything, right?” He asks, his hand tucks a loose strand of locks behind her ear.

Ella sighs, keeping her eyes to the wooden floor of the treehouse, avoiding her friend’s eyes. 

“‘M mad,” She just says. 

“Why are you mad?”

“Mommy’s nursing the stupid, stupid baby and Dad’s talking on the phone with uncle Cas and uncle Gabe. Nobody has time for me, and daddy promised to play but then uncle Cas called and he’s taking too long on the phone,”

“Awe, but I’m here now, aren’t I? You still don’t like your little brother, huh, Ella?” 

Ella shrugs, “I don’t know, he’s stupid and ugly. He can’t talk so all he does it making weird noises and he cries,”

“Yeah, that’s what babies do.”

“Do you wanna play with me?” 

Her friend places a hand on her shoulder, “Of course, what do you wanna play?”

“Hide and seek?” Ella looks at her friend now and he smiles at her. 

“Okay Ella, you count and I go hide, okay?”

Ella grins and clasps her hands over her eyes when she starts to count. 

But she didn’t even get to ten when she hears barking and her daddy calling out for her.

  
  
  


_____________________________

  
  
  
  


“El?” Dean runs out to the terrace and looks into the distance. Fucking hell, he’s only been on the phone for a mere fifteen minutes, slipped into his office and when he came out, Ella who was sitting on the floor assembling puzzles was gone.

He sees Truffles digging something up from the ground. 

“Ella!” 

Dean runs down the stairs, and Y/N comes out too, still with the little boy in her arms, she couldn’t find Ella inside either. 

“El!” Y/N shouts, “Ella!”

Dean takes off, towards the treehouse and Y/N follows, but she’s not fast with a baby clutched to her chest.

If Ella’s gone, it’s on him. It’s all on fucking him. He promised her he would play with her. That was until Cas called who was already having a phone conference with Gabe. He had to go talk in his office because Y/N isn’t supposed to know the subject matter. This whole keeping secrets thing is fucking idiotic.

“El!”

“Ella!” 

He calls out while he runs. Runs as fast as his feet would take him and then he whistles for Truffles to run ahead. 

The dog seems startled when he hears his owner whistle but then Truffles runs ahead, knows where he needs to go and exactly who they are looking for. 

Dean sees Truffles speeding up ahead, sees him climbing up the stairs to the treehouse. After a while, the dog comes down with Ella. His heart thumps hard in his chest and he runs faster, wants to reach his little girl quickly.

“El!” He shouts, and he sprints the last quarter mile and scoops her up into his arms. “Jesus, Ella-baby, you scared me!”

Dean makes her look at him, brushes his hand along her cheeks. “You okay?” He pecks her forehead, is still so out of breath himself. 

Ella nods at her dad. 

“El, you know you shouldn’t go wander around on your own. Why didn’t you take Truffles with you?” Dean’s voice is low, he tries to stay calm. There’s no need to panic because Ella wouldn’t understand the horror he went through when he noticed her gone.

“He didn’t want to follow. Found something else more interesting,” Ella says matter of factly, as if it explains everything. Dog doesn’t want to follow so I don’t wait and go on my own. Dean shoots the dog a glare, making Truffles wince. 

“Let’s go back, mommy’s already worried,” 

As if on cue, Y/N arrives, “El-baby, you shouldn’t go out without telling me,” 

“You didn’t have time for me. Both of you!” Ella accuses her parents.

“El, I’m sorry, but now we do, come on, let’s go play,” Dean begins to walk towards the house but Ella twists around in his grip.

“No! I’m playing with my friend. He’s hiding and I have to search! He’s waiting for me to find him!”

Dean stops dead in his tracks. “Your friend? What friend?”

“Yeah, I meet him here a lot,”

“Ella, do you have an imaginary friend?” Y/N smirks.

“He’s real, alright!”

“Of course he is,” Dean stomps his feel for the effect, backing Ella up. It’s the least he can do after he neglected her while he first promised that they could play and Ella laughs, it sounds good in Dean’s ear. 

“Maybe your friend’s hiding in the house, huh?” Y/N says as she walks beside Dean, little Neo is clutched to her chest, sleeping peacefully, didn’t even realize that his parents just suffered a mild heart attack. 

“No!” Ella shouts, she is still trying to get out of Dean’s arms but he’s holding her tight. 

“Ella, maybe mommy’s right, huh?” He tries to reason. 

“No!” Ella balls her fist, hits Dean, “Fergie doesn’t go in the house. He’s shy! He doesn’t want to meet other people!”

Dean stops and Y/N’s jaw drops.

“Fergie?” Dean asks, just to be fucking sure. 

“Yeah, he said it’s a nickname for Fergus.” 

“Dean, what does it mean.” Y/N frowns, is visibly upset but he looks at her and mouthes  _ later  _ to her and Y/N understands. By the way Y/N purses her lips though, Dean knows that he’s in trouble.

  
  
  


*

  
  
  


Y/N’s waiting for him on the couch when he comes down to join her after he tucked the kids in. 

She stands up as soon as she hears him, turns to face him. “You know what? I need a fucking drink!”

Walking over to the kitchen, she takes out a bottle of whiskey from the pantry where they hide their alcohol and slams the door close with a bang. Dean’s sure that the kids heard it and closes his eyes, waits for one of them to cry out but it stays silent so he exhales, releasing the breath he didn’t even know he’s been holding. 

Dean walks closer to the kitchen isle where she’s standing with his hands in his pant pockets. Apparently this is a standing argument. 

She unscrews the cap angrily, gulps down a large swig, doesn't even bother to pour it into a glass, and brushes at her lips with the back of her hand. “You wanna explain anything to me? Is  _ Fergie  _ who I think it is?”

“I don’t know,” Dean shrugs, and eyes the bottle, he could sure as hell use a drink himself. 

She sees his gaze, hands him the bottle and he takes it from her with a nod, downs a gulp, swallows it and takes another one, for good measure.

“Then what do you know, Dean, huh?!”

“Ella said her  _ friend  _ Fergie started showing up after Neo’s birth,” Dean air quotes the word  _ friend _ . He tries to stay calm, but there's anger inside of him that wants to get out, too. He feels like punching something, wants to shoot at someone. He’s been told by Cas and Gabe before Ella wandered out on her own that Crowley is out for a while now, Gabe only overheard it this morning but apparently, he’s been out for almost eight fucking months already, and Dean’s mad, mad that he didn’t know, mad that he can’t fucking protect his family on his own fucking property, “Baby, I have no idea how he got past the security.”

“Security?” She gets loud.

_ Uh-oh. _

“You’re being loud!” Dean hushes her.

“Oh, well wait,” Y/N says a little softer but then she hisses, “What fucking security?”

There’s really no way out but forward, so Dean takes another swig from the bottle, leans over the island, braces his elbow on the kitchen isle and rubs himself over his face. He takes a deep breath before he begins to tell her about what Cas told him almost five years ago. 

The expression on her face changes with the things he tells her, he can read her like a book, can see the anger, the frustration, the horror. The crease between her eyebrows deepens, and Dean wants to even them out so bad but he knows that it’s not the right move right now.

“So we have security around the house for four fucking years already?”

“They’re so good you don’t even see them, right?” Dean tries to ease the tension with a joke. It is not well received. 

Y/N just stands there and stares him down. 

Dean doesn’t know what else to say, what else he  _ could  _ say to calm her down when he’s not exactly calm himself either.

Their silence gets interrupted when she gets a message on her phone. She walks to the sofa where she’s left it on the coffee table. Dean watches her go, follows her after. 

She takes the phone, reads the message and it’s like he sees it in slow motion. Sees how her crease deepens even more and her mouth forms an ‘o’ before the phone slips out of her hand and drops onto the rug by the coffee table.

“Dean,” Her voice shakes,

He rushes to her, holds her to stop her from shaking, and she just keeps on repeating, “Dean, Dean,” While she stares at her phone on the rug. 

Dean leaves one hand on her to keep her from falling while he picks the phone up from the rug and stands up to wrap his arm back around her. His other hand fumbles with her phone, thumbing over the messages until he sees what she saw. 

There’s a picture of Crowley with Ella, a selfie taken in the treehouse. Both of them are smiling. There’s a caption to it, too. 

_ Barmaid 1 - 1 Crowley. _


	9. Chapter 9

Dean doesn’t think he has gotten any sleep at all last night. 

After what happened, he immediately called Gabe and Cas, Y/N was listening in, too. She’s still mad at him, he knows that, but she is willing to not give him hell because her number one priority is protecting her family, which, Dean thinks, is the same thing as he wants either.

They talked on the phone for a while but then decided that they’d rather meet in person today. 

He wakes up with something on top of him, opening up his eyes, Dean sees Ella straddling him, “Wake up, Daddy!” 

Dean smirks and closes his eyes again which prompts Ella to jump up and down on him like he’s a damn horse, and then she starts to poke her finger into his face. First his cheek, then on his lips, his nostrils and then his eyes.

“I’m up, I’m up!” Dean shouts, “I surrender!”

Ella bursts out in a fit of laughter.

After a while, Ella lays herself on top of him, whispers into his ears, “Mommy is sad, she’s crying.” 

Dean knows that Y/N’s still in bed with them, knows that she cried herself to sleep, if she even slept at all. 

“I know, El-baby, why don’t you go get dressed and play in your room, leave me some time with mommy, huh? I’ll come and get you,”

“Okay,” 

What Dean loves about his little girl is that she understands things. Especially when he talks calmly to her. Certainly not a trait she got from him. 

He waits until Ella walks out, little footsteps tapping along the floor, waits until she closes the door.

Dean turns around, sees that Y/N faces the other way. She’s laying on her side, he hears her breathing evenly. He moves closer to her, lifts up her blanket and covers himself with it, his arm sneaks around her middle. She doesn’t protest so Dean moves even closer, pressed his chest to her back, melts his body against hers as he noses at the back of her neck, breathes in her scent. She smells like home.

“I got this,” He whispers, placing a kiss on the nape of her neck. 

She only sniffs. 

Still crying, then.

“Baby,” Dean’s grip tightens around her, and he rolls them around on the bed, it’s still so easy to manhandle her. 

He rolls them until she’s on top of him and a tear drips down, right onto his cheeks. He rolls some more, places her next to him so he can look her in the eye as he brushes at her tears with the pad of his thumb. 

Dean hates how much it hurts him. How he absolutely hates whenever she cries and he’s the reason for it. Even though, right now he might not be the real reason but he’s a part of it.

“Everything will be okay,” He says, doesn’t really know if he’s saying the truth but he hopes he is. “We’ll find a way,”

She nods at him, her eyes are red and puffy from crying. 

“Fuck, I hate to see you like this,” He mutters, leans in, kisses her cheeks, her nose, her forehead. He kisses her lips after, it’s warm and soft, a little wet too, “I need you to stay positive okay? Can you do that for me?” 

“I don’t know,” She pushes the words past her lips and they feel like daggers to his heart.

“I won’t let anything bad happen to you or our family, I promise.” Dean kisses between her eyebrows, the place where he wanted to kiss last night. He leaves his lips there, pulls her closer. 

  
  
  


_____________________________

  
  
  


Y/N’s pacing around the room, she’d put Neo to bed for his nap and Ella’s watching Frozen on the ipad upstairs so they have a little privacy. Privacy to talk about the impending doom without getting interrupted. Cas’ here and Gabe came around with a couple of his best men. 

She doesn’t like the way they all look at her. Doesn’t need their pity, it makes her feel even worse.

Dean shows the men the message she got from Crowley.

“I want you to up your security all around my property.” Dean tells Gabe and the other man nods, “I want all eyes on Y/N and the kids.”

“I don’t understand,” Cas says, “Crowley barely has anyone left who’s loyal to him. How did he manage to pull that off?”

“I don’t know,” Dean says, and he has his hands balled to fists. He’s angry, she knows. 

And god knows she is, too.

She paces around, thinks about the bloody situation she’s in, while the men are talking. They go on about a plan, try to come up with something, she doesn’t really listen. 

Suddenly, she speaks, “Guys, hear me out,”

Dean’s looking at her as if he’s seen a ghost, and already he’s frowning. Mainly because he knows for a fact that anything that comes out of her mouth won’t be any good, “Baby, no.”

“Yes!” She shouts, “Yes, Dean, because it’s the only way and you know it as much as I do.”

He sighs in defeat and the others just stare at them, “Fine, go on. I’m listening.”

“Crowley clearly wants me,” She starts to say.

“No!” Dean shouts now, too. Louder, and it makes her flinch. “I said what I said, Y/N. No.”

“You didn’t even let me finish!” She throws her hand around her. 

“I don’t need to hear it because I know exactly what you want to say and no, I’m not fucking giving you up, alright? You’re not going to be any kind of bait!”

“Why not? He clearly has beef with me, not with you guys. If that’s what I need to do to save my family, I’ll do it.” 

She wants to, is sure as hell that the only way to stop Crowley from harming her family is to give herself up. She’s about ready to do anything as long as Dean and her children will get to be safe and live their lives to the fullest. They don’t deserve this. Nobody does. And it’s really not a big price to pay. That way she can right all the wrongs she’s done.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Dean lets out, rubs over his face with both of his hands, “I can’t believe I’m listening to his fucking bullshit!” 

Y/N sits down in an empty chair, wraps her arms around herself and she tires, tries not to fucking cry because mainly she doesn’t want to come across as weak, and secondly, there’s simply no tears left that she can shed. She feels empty, feels fucking numb.

And Dean knows that too, knows that she’s close to tears and she hates that he knows her better than she knows herself. He comes to stand before her, lowers himself onto his knees and cradles her face between his big hands. 

He kisses her, soft, tender, and whispers to her, “Baby, I can’t let you do that.”

“Why?” She mumbles but doesn’t look at him, her gaze is still trained downwards.

Dean sighs, kisses her forehead one more, “Do you really think that’ll stop him? Do you think when he gets you where he wants, that he’ll stop? He’ll go after us all, one by one.”

She looks at Cas and Gabe and they both nod in unison.

_ Gah _ , she hates that. Hates that Dean always has to be right. 

Y/N excuses herself to go upstairs. There’s nothing she can say anymore that will get approval from the five men anyway.

She sits on her bed, looks out the window into the meadow. It’s a windy day, there are clouds in the sky. She’s sure the stars won’t come out tonight. 

Taking her phone from her pocket, she types in a message.

_ Y/N: What do you want? _

It baffles her that the answer comes right away.

_ C: Darling, you’re not dumb. You know what I want. _

_ Y/N: And if you don’t get it? _

_ C: I’ll take everything you love. _

There’s tears pooling in her eyes. Apparently the well of tears hasn’t dried down yet.

_ Y/N: And if you get what you want? _

_ C: I’ll leave them alone. _

_ Y/N: How do I know that you’re not shitting me? _

_ C: I’m not a liar. Never was, never will be, unlike some people. _

_ Y/N: How do you want to get to me? _

_ C: I have many ways but I rather not tell. It’s best if you come meet me. _

Her hands are shaking but she types on her phone anyway.

_ Y/N: When? Where? _

_ C: Wait for my instructions. _

_ Y/N: Okay _

_ C: Tell Ella Fergie misses her _

_ Y/N: Fuck you _

She deletes the conversation one by one, only leaving the picture message standing as not to raise suspicion should Dean take a look. Then she pushes herself out of the bed, undresses herself and walks into the bathroom, draws herself a bath. She thinks of drowning her sorrows in alcohol but knows that it wouldn’t help. She needs a clear head to face her children. They deserve that much.

  
  
  


_____________________________

  
  
  
  


Dean walks along the landing when he sees Ella disappearing into their bedroom. He opens the door and hears a shower running. It smells like bath salts too. Y/N is now probably showering herself off. 

Ella’s standing in the middle of the room with her ipad. “Mommy?”

“Hey baby girl, what do you need from mommy, huh?” Dean kneels down in front of Ella.

“Frozen is finished. Can I watch another one, daddy?”

Dean chuckles, “No El-baby, I don’t think I can allow that,”

He can see the little girl pouting. Damn that fucking pout. That’s certainly something she’s got from her mother. “But you know what?”

“What?” He sees Ella frown at him, curious but not quite trusting if it’s going to be better than another movie on an ipad.

“What would you say if you go out with uncle Sammy and auntie Jess for Mc Donald’s and ice cream, huh?”

“Yaaaay!” The girl jumps up and down and Dean smiles.

It’s so easy to cheer a kid up. They’re so innocent and he likes to protect that. Likes to keep them away from all the bad things for as long as he can. 

“Then go on down, they’re already waiting down there with your brother.”

“Does he have to come too?” 

“Ella, we’ve been through this,” Dean lowers his voice a little.

“Okay, fine. But I’m not talking to him.” She says and Dean has to chuckle. He kisses her forehead and sends her away.

Dean gets up on his feet, walks over to the bed and sits on it, waits for Y/N to come out of the shower. 

He stares at his feet, listens to the running water and thinks about what just happened. Thinks about all the things that are fucked up. Five years ago, up until two days ago, his world seemed good, great even. He had everything. And now one fucking leprechaun is threatening to destroy everything he knows and love. Dean can’t let that happen. Not on his fucking watch.

When he comes back to his senses he looks at the watch on the bedside table. She’s been in there awfully long already so Dean gets up, walks to the bathroom to see what’s taking her so long. 

The sight that greets him damn near breaks his heart.

Y/N’s on the shower floor, hugging her legs, crying quietly into her knees. 

Dean doesn’t hesitate, goes right in fully clothed, pulls her up and into his chest, “Baby,” His voice sounds broken, “Fuck,” 

Her body goes rigid and she pushes him away, making him stagger a couple of steps back. Dean watches her, he’s near tears himself. 

He tries again, pushing himself against her, grabs her by her arms and pulls her in. She’s hitting his chest, hands balled into fists as she drums against it. 

She’s sobbing, cries and shouts, “Why don’t you let me do this? Fuck you, Dean. Fuck you!”

Dean’s crying, he doesn’t know what to do so he does the only thing he knows that will take the pain away, at least for a short time. He knows that he fucking needs to feel it, needs to feel a sense of normality for a short moment, and he knows that she needs it too. So he lifts her up and crowds her against the shower wall, kisses her deep and hard, pours all his feeling into the kiss, says things without speaking,  _ I won’t fucking let you go _ , and a warning,  _ Don’t fucking dare leave me _ . 

Y/N still cries against the kiss but she kisses him back, equally hard and deep, her tongue restless inside of his mouth, drinking in his sorrows, his fears, spills hers into him. 

“Fuck me,” She whispers, holding him around his neck tighter, and Dean’s soaked his shirt and pants, even his socks, he doesn’t care, “Make it go away, Dean. Fuck me, please,” 

“Okay,” He whispers back, “Okay,”

He pins her harder against the wall, one hand still holding her up while he fumbles blindly at his belt. He kisses her again, gives her no time to think about anything else, tries to fill her head with want and need and not with Crowley and sorrow, until he can free his cock. 

Dean peels and pushes the fabrics down his body one handed, manages to lower them past his cock and balls and he strokes himself before pushing the head of his dick against her entrance. He lowers her a little while he fucks up into her at the same time, is still kissing her when he feels the warmth of her walls hugging his cock tight. She moans into the kiss but she doesn’t stop either, kisses him more and more while Dean moves his hips up, fucks into her slow and steady. 

Breaking the kiss, Dean leaves his forehead on hers, kisses her eyes when she closes them, her nose, her lips, “‘M sorry,” He says between thrusts, “‘M sorry for not telling you sooner.”

She doesn’t say anything, buries her face into the crook of his neck and sucks at his throat.

He fucks up, a little faster, a little harder, getting himself deeper as she likes it and lowers his face to her neck, “Promise me, baby,” He says between pants, “Promise me you won’t do anything stupid,” Dean thrusts three more times and feels her coming on his cock, he’s so close himself, “Promise me you won’t leave me, that you won’t leave us.” Dean comes, sinks his teeth into the flesh of her shoulder.

He dries her off later, carries her into the bed, helps her into her clothes before he peels his own wet ones from his body. 

There’s a knock at the door and Dean watches as Y/N lifts herself off the bed, dashing down the stairs to open up. He hears Ella’s happy squeals when she sees her mommy, hears Neo’s babble and imagines Y/N taking him into her arms. 

Dean takes his time, changes into dry sweats and a shirt and then he remembers that Y/N didn’t promise him anything in the showers. He hopes deeply that the kids can change her mind.


	10. Chapter 10

Two weeks have gone by with nothing much happening Crowley-wise. They have forbidden Ella from wandering out alone, so at least the little girl can’t meet him anymore. Ella’s not very happy about it, threw a tantrum every day for a week and it was hard, so hard to feel sympathy for their little girl when she’s being so unreasonable in their eyes.

Dean scolds Ella more too, and at the end it’s Y/N who has to step up and comfort their child. 

Everyone’s on the edge. Nobody knows when Crowley would strike next and how. 

Dean’s in his office, having a skype meeting with Cas and Gabe while Y/N’s in her art room when her phone lights up. She always takes it with her nowadays, doesn’t dare to leave it lying around in case Crowley texts and Dean sees it.

_ C: You ready? _

_ Y/N: For what? _

_ C: How do I know that you won’t be shitting me? _

_ Y/N: You have my word. _

_ C: Darling, that’s not enough. _

_ Y/N: Why should I jeopardize my family when it’s me you want. _

_ C: Your husband knows about me texting you? Huh? Did he get Ash to find traces of me? _

It’s true, though. Dean tried to get Ash to dig up something but Ash came up empty handed. They have literally nothing and Crowley keeps the upper hand. Dean absolutely hates the situation they’re in and she can’t say that she likes it either.

_ Y/N: Ash couldn’t find anything. It’s only you and me, Crowley. Dean doesn’t know. _

_ C: What does that say about your marriage if you keep things from him? _

_ Y/N: Fuck you _

_ C: I used to like you, Y/N. Thought you’d be too good to be true. Turned out you were a fucking skank rat who just thought about herself. You got Dean wrapped around your fingers didn’t you? Screwed him over. Wonder what’s so magical about your pussy that made him go back to you. _

She’s shaking. Literally shaking, and she tries her hardest not to just smash her phone against the next fucking wall.

_ Y/N: Leave him out of this _

_ C: Fine. Dean still owns his apartment, right? _

_ Y/N: Yes _

_ C: Meet me there tomorrow night. Come alone or you’ll never see your kids again.  _

_ Y/N: Okay _

_ C: Here’s what you need to do: Slash Dean’s tires, take a bath, sneak out. Come see me. 9PM. Don’t forget, I have someone watching you too. So, if I see that you’re not alone, I get them to break in and… I don’t need to elaborate do I? _

_ Y/N: No. _

_ C: Good. I’ll see you tomorrow, darling. _

She pockets her phone. Brushes the tears away from her face, and sniffs a little before she breathes steadily, willing her heart to stop pounding so hard, and then she goes on with her painting, tries to stay calm. 

  
  


*

  
  


Dean’s already in bed when she comes out of the bathroom. He had taken a bath with Ella and Neo and while he dressed them and tucked them in, Y/N cleaned the bathtub and took a shower. 

He has his back leaned against the headboard and watches her, his expression unreadable. It makes her wonder if he knows what she’s going to do, if he knows that she basically made a deal with Crowley, that she told Crowley that she’s giving herself up to save her family. Dean’s not an idiot, he must know. She can’t read his face and it frustrates her.

“Watchu lookin’ at?” She’s smirking a little.

Y/N can breathe easy again after she made the deal. She came to make peace with it and she’ll own up everything with her decision.

Dean’s eyes are still on her and he smiles a little too, his lips curve up, it makes him look younger in the light, makes him look carefree. 

A carefree Dean, is a rare sight. She only knew him briefly, but he’s a joy to be around.

“My world,” He answers her bluntly and it makes her blush. 

Y/N climbs up to the bed to where Dean’s laying and he parts his legs so she can fit in between. 

She’s trailing her hands along his thighs, rubs up and down through the fabric of the blanket, getting higher up, until she strokes along his pelvis and hips, fingernails dancing along his bare skin because he didn’t bother wearing a shirt. Dean hitches his breath and she chuckles. 

Her hands pull at the blanket, just enough to reveal his underwear. They start to fill out, his cock swelling visibly at her touch. 

“How are you feeling?” He asks her, reaches out a hand to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her shoulder. 

“I’m feeling good, you?” 

“Much better when I know that you’re alright.” He says but then he inhales, holding his breath as she let her nails skid across his crotch. She can feel his dick twitch underneath the fabric.

“I wanna make you feel better,” She smiles, pulling the blanket further down, lets him kick it off and lays down, slots herself between his thighs as she mouths at his crotch, licks up his lengths through the fabric. She looks up to see Dean licking his lips as he watches her.

Y/N hooks her fingers into his underwear, pulls it down, makes room for him to slide it off one leg before she slots herself in between again. She blows air against his dick, sees it jerking up as soon as it hits him and then she looks at Dean, sees him nibbling at his bottom lip. 

“Tease,” He mumbles and she has to chuckle at that.

She doesn’t use her hands yet, noses right in between his thighs, licks and sucks at his balls while his dick jerks and twitches against her forehead. 

“Fuck,” Dean’s voice is strained, “Looking so good with my cock on your face and my balls in your mouth, baby.” 

She always feels dirty when he describes what she does.

Working her way up, she fists his cock, it feels hot and heavy in her hands. She twirls her tongue around the head of his dick, plays with the sensitive string there, and Dean grits his teeth. “Fucking tease,” He says again and she laughs, because it’s true. She loves to tease him but he’s not innocent in that department either. 

Y/N looks up at Dean, keeps her eyes on him when she opens her mouth and sucks at the tip of his dick, making him flinch and he squints his eyes. She loves to watch him, watch how she affects him because it’s good to see that she’s not the only one always affected by him. 

She takes him deeper, bobs her head up and down, works the lengths she can’t fit in her mouth with both her hands. It’s getting sloppy, too, she’s drooling, and it drips down his shaft, makes it much better when her spit mixes with his pre come and slicks the way at the place she fists him.

Pushing her head on his dick, she tries to fit more of him into her mouth, gags and chokes when it hits the back of her throat. She comes up for air again, her eyes are teary, saliva dripping down her chin. 

Dean's hands come around her head, fingers tucking her hair back behind her ear and he leaves his hand there when she goes down on him again, “Taking my cock so good. Fuck, such a good girl,”

His praises always manage to make her all tingly down there. She’s wet just from sucking him off. 

She takes him down again, goes as far as she can and stays there, his pubic hair tickling her nose. 

“Fuck,” Dean hisses out profanities above her. 

She comes up for air, sucks him off steadily for a while longer until the tingling between her legs turns into throbbing. 

Y/N gets up on her knees, parts the plaid shirt she wears in the middle and Dean sees that she isn’t wearing any panties and raises an eyebrow. But he couldn’t say anything because she’s straddling his thighs now, aiming his cock against her opening. 

Slowly she sits down and she leans forward, cradles his face between the palms of her hands, lets the softness of the scruff tickle her. 

Dean moves a little lower with her, so his lower back is flat on the mattress. That way, he has more control, and can do more for her either. 

She braces her hands on his chest as she starts to bounce and Dean’s hands are all over her. Caressing her ass, spanks down on them, making it sting. They wander to the front, slapping down on her tits too, both at the same time, making her arch her back at the sensation on her sensitive nipples. He rolls her nipples between his fingers, pulling at them and letting them bounce back. 

“Christ, you’re fucking perfect,” He’s breathing hard, and when she grinds on his cock, he almost lost it because she can feel it too, he’s so deep, it hits all her right buttons.

“Choke me,” She whispers, and she first thought that Dean didn’t hear her but he did because his hands leave her tits, travels up her chest, thick fingers spanning around her throat as he presses down. She grinds harder, rubbing her clit against his pelvis while his dick carves at her cervix. 

“That’s it,” Dean pants, “Just like that, baby. Keep on riding, power through, come for me but keep on riding,”

She growls, it’s like he manages to push at every fucking button inside and outside of her and she comes so hard, her legs shakes and her thighs press together above his stomach. Dean’s still logged inside and he growls with her, feels her pussy cramping down on him like a vice and there’s really nothing else for him left to do than coming with her. 

Dean chuckles as they both come down from their high. He keeps on stroking her legs, “Turn around, careful don’t let me slip out.”

Y/N frowns at first but then she does, almost failing but in the end she could turn herself around while his dick is still inside. 

“Holy shit, that felt fucking amazing,” Dean grits his teeth, “The feeling of you turning while I’m inside of you, wow, fucking fantastic.” Dean pulls her back to lie down, careful not to slip out and then he turns to the side, spoons her from behind and pulls a blanket over both of them. 

He kisses along her shoulder, up her neck, noses behind her ear. They stay like that for a while longer, and Dean strokes her whole body, from her tits to her stomach, down to her clit. She gasps when he circles his fingers around her nub. 

“You didn’t promise me,” Dean whispers against her shoulder, his scruff rough against her skin, his voice sends vibrations throughout her body. 

She can feel him swelling up inside of her again, and he moves his hips, fucking slowly and gently into her. 

Y/N doesn’t answer him, wouldn’t know what to say. 

“I know what you’re planning to do,” Dean whispers between kisses, licks and sucks up to her throat. She’s sure he’ll leave a mark but she doesn’t care about it. “I want to be able to stop you but I know that I can’t.”

He’s right. She’s stubborn and she won’t let him talk her out of it. She doesn’t know what to say, so instead she says, “I love you,” while she tilts her head back to look at him, she sees Dean crying, his tears dripping down the bridge of his nose onto her neck. 

“I love you, too,”

She cranes her neck, kisses him, pours all the  _ sorry  _ into one kiss that she’s not able to say. He fucks into her slow, steady, deep, kisses her back, begs for her to stay with every thrust of his hips. 

  
  
  
  


_____________________________

  
  
  
  


Dean tucked the kids in and decided to go to the living room, because Y/N said that she’d like to take a bath. He already took one this morning with her, made love to her, begged for her to stay and not do anything irrational with every fiber of his body, but now he’s spent and he knows that he needs to give her some privacy because the last thing he wants is to crush her with being present all the time to keep her from doing stupid things.

He switches channels on the TV when he hears a screeching of car tires. Dean rewinds, thinks it might have come out of the TV but it didn’t. He goes upstairs, sees the light in the bathroom and goes in. There’s a full bathtub. The only thing missing is Y/N. 

_ Goddamnit. _

Dean’s first instinct is to call Sam to come over and look after the kids, it seems like the best thing since Sam lived the closest. He then dashes down the stairs, goes to his study and opens up the weapons cabinet. He takes out his gun holster, swings it around his shoulders and secures his colt in there. Her gun is still here, though. Dean didn’t have time to check all the content because his phone’s ringing. It’s one of the security guys.

“Sir, are you the one who left?”

“No, it’s Y/N.”

“Oh, we didn’t know if we should have followed. We did anyway but we lost her.”

_ Fucking great. _

“Okay, doesn’t matter. Where’s she heading?”

“We think she’s heading to the city sir,”

“Great, thanks.” 

Dean hangs up and walks over to where they had their keys and snatches his car key before he goes out to his car. He whistles for Truffles to follow him while he thumbs over his phone. Cas picks up at the second ring. “Y/N’s gone.”

“Oh no,” 

“Yes, I might know where she’s heading but get Ash to track the car, call in the coordinates,” Dean gets into his Baby and starts the engine but when he drives out, he realizes the flat of his tires, “Fuck,”

“What is it?” Cas’ asks over the phone. 

Dean gets out of his car, “My tires! Fucking fuck!” He kicks at them, as if it would make it better. 

“Should I come pick you up?”

“No, we have no time, I got it. Bye Cas.” 

Dean hangs up and runs to the front gate. There’s still the car with Gabe’s agents. Since he upped the security, there’s always at least two cars sitting outside.

“I need the car. Get out, get out, get the fuck out!”

The two agents scramble out, nearly falling out of the car as Dean gets in. “I want you to search the property and the streets around here. Crowley probably has men, I want them dead.”

“Yes, sir.” The big bald guy says.

Dean watches Sam’s car rounding up the street and drives into their driveway. Watches as his brother dashes out and goes into their home. Sam knows what to do, so at least Dean can take the worry about his kids off his shoulders.

“Call Gabe, update him.”

“Okay,” 

Dean nods, and drives off.

  
  
  


_____________________________

  
  
  


Y/N parks in the garage, it all feels too familiar, as if she wasn’t away at all.

She takes the elevator up to Dean’s apartment. When she arrives, the door’s already standing ajar, the light inside is out, the only light source is the light from the hallway so she leaves the door wide open.

“Hello?” She calls out but doesn’t have to look around for long, Crowley’s right in the living room, his back turned to her.

He turns around as soon as he hears her, “There you are,” He smiles, “Alone too, I watched you. Never thought you would come alone since you’re such a sneaky bitch.” 

She doesn’t know if that’s a compliment or an insult. She doesn’t say anything, but instead she asks, “Why here?” 

“You can’t be so dumb, can you?” Crowley snarls, “Take a look around! This place is like a freaking museum of his past. This way I can hurt him too!”

“You want me, not him,”

“Having you doesn’t mean that I can not damage him,” Crowley snickers, “Just a little. It brings me joy,”

“You haven’t changed, did you?”

Crowley takes a flask out of his coat pocket, unscrews it and takes a large gulp, hissing through gritted teeth when he’s done, “Not true, I drink now. A lot,” He places it back, “You made me a fucking alcoholic!”

“How did you get out?” She doesn’t really want to know and she hopes that he doesn’t notice that she tries to stall.

Crowley shrugs and takes out a gun from his other coat pocket. “Oh, you know, telling them where some of their men are buried. Same ol’, same ol’”

“And now you want to kill me,” She’s exceptionally calm. It’s the result of having made peace with it.

“You’re the fucking reason for everything, you know,” Crowley waves around with his gun, “You got Dean to do everything you say. Without you, he and I would still be doing great things together. Maybe I would have run for Senate. We could have taken over the whole fucking country, so yeah, of course I want to kill you!”

“So, you’re killing me out of jealousy,”

Crowley laughs, it’s loud and it echoes off the walls, “You knew we were all in this together, yet you only helped him!”

“I love him.” She says matter of fact.

“Love,” Crowley chuckles, circles around her as if she is his prey and maybe she is, “You don’t understand love, darling. If you loved him you would have let him go. You wouldn’t tie him down with babies. Dean’s a great guy, a fucking great businessman. He doesn’t need to be tied down. He loved going out, sleeping around, he and I used to go around the clubs, taking names, breaking hearts. That’s what he loves, not taking care of you and the kids!” Crowley stands before her, spitting his words into her face, “I think I might actually do him a favor by taking you out.”

She knows that his words are meant to hurt her and it does, very much so.

Y/N opens her mouth to say something but she’s interrupted by loud barking.

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Crowley hisses, locks his arms around her shoulder, and rams his gun into her back. They’re both facing the door with him using her as a body shield when he hisses into her ear, “I thought that I wanted to take my time with you but I guess, this is even better,”

Truffles arrives at the door, barking and growling, fletching his teeth. 

It’s not long before Dean shows up, gun drawn, he’s panting hard. His expression when he sees her is pained. She didn’t want this, didn’t want him to follow her, didn’t want him to see. She’s crying, feels like an idiot because she can’t even let someone kill her without getting Dean involved.

“Let her go you fucking leprechaun,” Dean’s voice is calm, steady, she sees that he’s anything but, though. His hands are shaking.

  
  
  


_____________________________

  
  
  
  


Dean’s heart is pounding fast. This is not how his quiet life is supposed to be ending. He refuses to accept that. 

Cas is still not here, he lives a little further away, needs longer to get here but he’s on the phone with him all the time. Dean has the phone in his pocket and the call with Cas is still active, so Cas can hear and react when needed. Dean looks over to Truffles and the dog shuts up but is still standing at attention, ready to attack. 

“Well, hello Dean, it’s nice to see you. Did you miss me?” Crowley’s grinning. 

“Fuck off, Crowley. We’ve all made our peace with the past, why can’t you?”

“Oh, excuse me, you’re not the one who was doomed to ROT IN FUCKING JAIL!” 

Dean sees Y/N flinch, and can tell by the arch of her back that Crowley pokes at her with something, he guesses it’s a barrel of a gun. Dean hopes it doesn’t go off before he can talk Crowley out of it, because that guy’s not used to doing the dirty work, always had someone do it for him. Dean doesn’t even know if he can handle a weapon at all. 

“So what? You got out, didn’t you? Even before your fucking time! Just fucking move on, we all did!” Dean shouts, “Do you really hate me so much that you want to take everything away from me?”

“ _ She _ took everything away from  _ me _ !” Crowley spits and his voice is full of anger. 

Y/N flinches again, and Dean knows that he doesn’t have fucking time. 

“Take me instead,” Dean says, loud, clear, so that it would get into Crowley’s brain.

Crowley just laughs, “Sure, and who’s going to be my sidekick? No can do, Dean. I want you to come to your senses. Let’s get rid of her, let’s us be a fucking team again. We can take over the state, the fucking country!”

Dean’s knuckles turn white, he wants for Crowley to stop talking fucking bullshit. Dean whistles, and Truffles surges forward on commando, rushes to Crowley so quickly Crowley doesn't even know what came at him. 

Truffles bites into the man’s arm and Dean aims as Crowley almost topples over to the side from Truffles force on his arm.

There’s a sound of a shot and then another.

Crowley and Y/N hit the ground at almost the same time.

“No, no, no!” Dean shouts out, runs to her. 

He feels like he has a freaking deja-vu. Trapped in an endless loop of seeing her getting shot at. He wants to fucking wake up from this nightmare.

“Baby, no. No, no, no, no!”

Everything that happens is a blur. Dean hears Cas. Feels Sergei pushing him away to have more room, hears an ambulance in the distance, feels Truffles nosing at his bloody hand and then it’s like he’s drifting off. He feels strong arms heaving him up, hears talking behind his back.

Dean’s tired. He’s exhausted. All he wants is to sleep and wake up to Y/N next to him.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end, guys. I’m sad. I hope you enjoy the last chapter and thank you for letting me take you on this fabulous ride ❤️

**_...SIX MONTHS LATER…_ **

Dean’s sitting on their terrace in the big rocking chair. It’s already dark and cold. Ella’s sitting on his one thigh, cuddling close to him and Neo’s on his other side. Dean has a big blanket draped over all of them, so they would stay warm. 

It’s only a little past 8pm but it’s the weekend and Ella doesn’t have to go to school the next morning so he spoils her by allowing her to stay up past her usual bedtime of 7pm. They finished roasting marshmallows in their fireplace in the backyard and they have now brushed their teeth and changed into their pj’s. 

He’s doing that a lot with the kids now. He wants them to see the privilege of living so far out, wants them to see the beauty of being able to see stars. A view one shouldn’t take for granted. They’re outdoorsy, both of them love to be outside and play and he’s glad they have the chance to do that with their big garden and a treehouse by the creek.

Neo clasps his hand over Dean’s eyes while Dean looks up to the night sky. 

“See? See?” The little guy says and Dean has to chuckle.

“Buddy, I ain’t seeing a thing. Where are the stars?”

And then Ella joins in, her little hands on his face, squeezing at his cheeks and then she covers his nose. 

“And now I can’t even breathe,” He gasps, plays along.

The kids are giggling and Dean likes that, likes to hear them happy. 

He begins to tickle them both, and both of them are writhing in his lap. 

“Daddy, stop!” Ella’s still giggling like crazy.

“Stop doing what?” 

“Tickling us!”

“Only when you guys will let me look up at the stars and it'll be nice if I could breathe,” Dean’s still tickling.

“‘K!” Neo says, the little boy still laughs wholeheartedly, and Ella seems to agree with her brother for once because they settled next to him again, both trying to catch their breath.

Dean stares up, the sky is full of stars tonight, that’s why it’s so cold out. Their breathing fog up but they’re warm underneath the blanket. 

“What do you guys see?” He asks his children, sometimes their imagination run wild and they would see all kinds of things in the star’s constellation.

“Mommy,” Neo says. 

“Mommy?” Dean asks and he squints his eyes, trying to see what Neo sees.

“Ah, I see her too,” Ella joins in. 

“Yeah, now I see mommy too. Her nose is a little big, though,” The children are giggling again and Dean kisses the top of both their heads, “Come on, what else,”

“Princess!” Ella calls out.

“Dinosaur!” Neo tries to be louder than his sister.

Dean smirks and he just leans back, bathing himself in the momentarily joy. 

They get interrupted not even fifteen minutes later, when Linda comes to stand next to him. “I think it’s time for bed now,”

Linda had moved in to help him take care of the kids and that woman still gives him the creeps sometimes. Dean would never admit it to her, though. 

He gladly took the offer at that time, although he’s probably never going to get used to it. He even had another room built right above the garage so that Linda can live comfortably while she helps him. Dean didn’t want to employ a real nanny, didn’t see the need when he can rely on people he already knows and trusts. He has a hard time trusting anyone new lately. 

“You heard Linda, guys,” Dean kisses his children good night and lets Linda take Neo from his lap. The little boy started to walk yesterday. Another milestone reached. 

“Night daddy,” Ella whispers and pulls him down by the collar to give him another kiss.

“Night, El-baby,” 

“The physical therapist just left,” Linda balances Neo on her arms. The boy is already so big, it makes Linda look even smaller than she already is.

“Okay,” Dean answers, and watches Linda go in with his kids.

  
  
  
  


_____________________________

  
  
  


Y/N can hear the chatter in her children’s rooms. Her room is black, only the light from the stars shining through the window. She looks up at the night sky, knows that Dean has spent the evening with the kids outside while she had her physical therapy session. Futile therapy sessions. With a private therapist who probably wants way too much money for the little progress they make.

“Hey,” She hears Dean slip in and he closes the door behind him, “You okay?” 

He walks over, leans in to place a kiss on the top of her head. 

Dean knows not to talk too much. She’s always frustrated and sad after a therapy session. If she can avoid it, she’d like to not see anybody at all.

She doesn’t answer him and Dean knows why, he’s used to it by now and it makes her feel even more guilty. 

After Dean shot Crowley, Crowley’s finger managed to pull the trigger, shooting her in the back. Unfortunately it went through her body in a weird angle, injuring her spine and puncturing her lung, too. She’s been in the hospital for almost a month, half of the time was spent in an induced coma. 

Waking up, Dean was by her side and it was a long road to get where she is now. Which is not really far and she doesn’t really know if she has the strength to go on. It’s frustrating when she works so hard without feeling or seeing any progress at all.

Dean kneels down and starts to massage her legs. He’s doing a daily range of motions exercises with her to help her along, not missing a single day since he started.

She watches him work on her legs, doesn’t feel a fucking thing at all and she’s tired, exhausted as hell after the therapy. Y/N doesn’t want to come across as ungrateful but she can’t help but wonder why he does all this. Why does he keep on going when everything seems so lost? 

And maybe she shouldn’t have let her mind wander to the dark place but she’s there now and she’s angry at herself, at Dean, at everything. 

“Why are we doing this, Dean,” It’s not really a question, more a fact. “Why are you still here?”

Y/N told him when he brought her back to the house that she’d get it if he wants to leave, maybe it’s still the effect of the words Crowley planted in her head. In fact, she even wants him to. Wants him to leave her and the children here and go live a quiet life somewhere without the burden of having to take care of the kids and her. 

Because that’s what she’s become. A burden that Dean has to carry, with being the only one who can take care of the kids — because she doesn’t have the strength to do it yet — on top of everything else. He didn’t sign up for this life and she gets it, because she didn’t either but she’s unfortunately still here and she has to somehow make it work. There’s no need for him to stay with her.

Dean looks up at her, the crease between his eyebrows deepens. He looks hurt. 

“It’s true. You’re doing so much but you don’t have to. I told you that I can manage. We’re going to be fine. Go have a boys week, I don’t know,” She’s tearing up and she actually doesn’t want to. Her grip on the arm of her wheelchair is tight, her knuckles are turning white. Dean’s unfazed, keeps on massaging the muscles in her legs, pretends he didn’t hear her, “You can still get out, you know. I don’t want to tie you down. I don’t want you having to take care of me. This is not what I fucking want!”

“Jesus Christ, Y/N! We’ve been through this, didn’t we,” Dean growls, he’s angry, she knows but she is too, so.

“And you know it’s fucking true! You’re always present. You’re taking care of all of us but who’s taking care of you, huh? We both know that it ain’t me, Dean! I can’t even take care of myself! You don’t deserve this! You deserve something better,” 

“Shut up,” Dean snaps, but his hands aren’t stilling, he continues to knead at her muscles. 

“You tend to our needs but what about you? What about your needs?”

“Fucking Christ, Y/N, shut up!” He gets loud and it makes her flinch.

She’s biting back at him though, “Tell me, what do you want, Dean? It sure as hell isn’t this fucking life! Tell me, what do you  _ really  _ want?!” She’s shouting and she can’t stop crying. 

Dean places her leg back and rubs over his face with both his hands. Her heart thumps in her chest, she knows that she’s being unreasonable but she’s really not doing great at the moment. 

“I need you, alright?” Dean’s loud and he’s shaking, “I fucking need you! How do you not get that?” He’s slowly breaking. She can see the tears pool in his eyes, see his shoulder trembling, “I FUCKING WANT YOU!” He screams before he lays his head in her lap, his arms hugging her middle when he begins to sob with his face buried in the cleft of her thighs. 

She’s sobbing with him, strokes at his hair, her hands wandering down his trembling back as far as she can reach. 

Dean’s breakdown was long overdue. She heard from Cas that he didn’t shed a tear once. Didn’t let himself show any emotions at all except for when he’s around his kids. 

All Y/N said was true though. She doesn’t want that for him. Dean didn’t deserve that. But she might have gone overboard as well, triggered by her own frustrations and insecurities. And maybe she did use that to get him to break. She needed to get it out somehow. Maybe they all need to break in order to be able to put the pieces back together again and make it better.

He comes up, sniffs and brushes at his face with his hands before he takes his wet hands and cradles her face with it. He brushes at her tears with the pad of his thumbs and leans his forehead on hers, “I fucking want you to come back to us, alright? It physically pains me to know that your mind makes you think you’re worthless. I want you to see that life’s fucking worth living for, I need you to see it! Even this life is worth living for! I love you. We all do! I want you to be able to see our kids grow up, I want you to find joy, I fucking want to see you happy. I want you to come back to me!” 

She cries some more and he kisses her. Their faces, their lips, it’s all wet. 

“This depression is a bitch but I won’t give up, I refuse to give up,” Dean brushes his knuckles along her cheek as he lays his forehead back on hers, “I want you to come back to us, and I’m gonna be here waiting for the day you’re ready to come back. I’m not gonna fucking give you up. I fought too hard to be where we are now, I’m not letting a goddamn wheelchair stand in the way of what we can be. And you shouldn’t either.”

“Dean,”

“Shh, baby,” He hushes her, kisses her again, “Let's get you to bed.”

  
  
  


_____________________________

  
  
  


**_...ONE YEAR LATER…_ **

  
  


Dean’s having one of his campfire nights with the kids, and they’re grilling marshmallows by the fire. 

It’s a clear night, they’re lucky with the weather this year. Summer wasn’t too hot and it seems like this Winter’s going to be a mild one. It helps with the wheelchair when there’s not too much ice and snow around whenever they need to go somewhere.

Linda’s still living here but Y/N’s doing better so he thinks that Linda can go home if she wants to but he also wouldn’t mind if she’d stay. He’s warmed up to the woman, and he can see that she’s warming up to him as well. Maybe she changed her mind about him, she must have. She even starts to cook now too, with the false pretense that she doesn’t really like the food Dean’s cooking. Her plate’s always empty, so he guesses that it’s Linda’s way to tell him that she’s ready to be involved more. 

Dean never told her to, though. He even said that she can go back whenever she likes but she has stayed and he thinks with Linda being here, Y/N has more reason to fight either. Maybe it’s also because Linda’s a cold hearted bitch when it comes to sorry excuses. She pep talks and drills Y/N until Y/N’s exhausted. Linda’s worse than a physical therapist, which they stopped calling in after the breakdown they both had. Linda’s more reliable, Linda knows Y/N’s limits. She also doesn’t get paid to crawl into someone ass and pretend that everything’s looking fine and Y/N made progress when the progress is zero and everything’s, in fact, not fucking fine. 

He’s sitting around the campfire, Neo’s on his lap, and Dean has one arm secured around the toddler. He’s afraid that Neo will fall into the fire if he isn’t holding him. 

When Dean looks away from the fire, he sees Linda wheeling Y/N into the backyard. They must have been going around the house because Linda couldn’t carry Y/N and the wheelchair down to the yard from their terrace. 

Inside of their house it’s a whole different story. They have two wheelchairs on both levels, so it’s easy if they can just carry her up and down and sit her right back into a ready wheelchair. Maybe Dean needs another one especially made for the terrain of their garden. 

Y/N’s smiling and so does Linda. Dean wonders what they’re up to.

Seeing her smile makes his heart leap and he smiles back. 

Her smile’s a rare sight, it’s absolutely rare seeing the genuine smile on her face. It makes him realize how much he misses it. How much he’s missing her. She’s slowly coming back and they’re nowhere near where they want to be, or rather where he wants them to be, but they’re slowly but surely taking baby steps into the right direction. 

She keeps on fighting and so does he.

Y/N’s around more either. Sometimes she would come down to sit around the couch with the kids. She’d read them stories, and Dean would listen too. And in those moments, it feels like they have gotten some normality back. In those moments, he can feel that she’s slowly accepting that her legs might never work again, accepting that she might be bound to a wheelchair to the end of her days. 

Dean’s also happy that she doesn’t doubt herself anymore, and by proxy, doesn’t doubt him. She can finally accept and wrap her head around the fact that he’s here to stay. Wrapping her mind around the fact that he’s not backing out just because something becomes uncomfortable. Just because something doesn’t fit the norm. He’s too old and too tired to give up on all that they’ve built up. He couldn’t leave this life, mainly also because all other lives don't seem worth living. 

He’s got his children, he has her. There’s really nothing else for him to wish for.

“Mommy!” Ella abandons her stick with a half burned marshmallow and skips towards Y/N and Linda. Neo’s getting restless in Dean’s grip. He watches as Ella runs to her mom and sits on Y/N’s lap, letting Linda push both of them forward.

Linda comes to a halt about three yards short of him and Ella gets out. Dean watches with raised eyebrows as Y/N grabs one leg after another, sets it on the cold solid ground.

And then, Dean can’t believe his own eyes when Y/N pushes herself up from the chair. 

Linda comes around, gives Y/N a hand to help steady her while Ella holds on to her mommy’s other hand. 

Dean can’t stop the tears even if he would try. He brushes at his eyes to be able to see better. 

“Daddy why are you crying?” Neo tilts his head around because of course he couldn’t hide that from the kids. Ella’s by Dean’s side now too, as she weaves her arms around Dean’s neck to kiss at his cheek.

“Daddy, mommy can walk!” Ella shouts out, her tiny voice’s full of excitement. 

“I can see that, yeah,” Dean chokes out but he’s smiling, and he still watches her, watches how her face frowns in concentration. 

“Why don’t cry,” Neo says again and Dean doesn’t really  _ want _ to? He just really  _ has _ to. 

“Why’s daddy crying?” Ella asks Neo, as if her brother knows the answer.

“Daddy’s just really happy,” Dean whispers, has to compose himself as not to break down in front of his kids, and then he stands up and lets Neo walk around, the little boy speeds to his mommy and Dean follows. 

When he’s close enough, he takes over from Linda and Linda takes the kids, walks with them back to the campfire as Dean steadies Y/N around her waist with one arm. His other arm trails along her cheeks. It has been more than a year since they saw each other eye to eye like this, with her being able to hold herself up on her own two feet.

She’s sweating and her cheeks are flushed. It probably needed more strengths than Dean could ever imagine. 

He kisses her, holds her a little tighter, “You can walk,”

“I can,” She breathes, “I mean, I won’t run a marathon tomorrow but I’m getting there.”

Dean has to chuckle, “You’re doing much better, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Y/N answers, “I can’t believe how patient you were.”

“It was worth it,” Dean whispers, kissing her again, “Come on, let’s get you back into the chair before you collapse.” She lets him scoop her up and place her back into the chair. Dean takes his time to place her legs right, he massages the muscle a little, too. “You feel that again?”

“I do, it’s strange.” 

Dean smirks, “Can’t believe you were hiding that from me.”

“Wanted to surprise you.” She smiles and it’s truly the most beautiful thing he’s seen in a long time. “Thanks for waiting for me to come around.”

“I would have waited a lifetime if that’s what you would have needed,” He whispers and gets up, places a last lingering kiss on her forehead before he gets behind the chair and wheels her to the campfire.

And yes, Dean’s happy. 

Happy that after all, they can start to be a family again. Because this is  _ it _ for him. This is what he always fucking wanted. This and nothing else. 


End file.
